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Is Second Life only about sex?


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Biller Longfall wrote:

Maybe I am looking in the wrong places, maybe I'm not. All I know is, I want to find a good SWRP buddy who doesn't put all their attention on sex. My opinions are my opinions. I still think Sex is much more crazed by people today, than it was years back. Thinking throughly on it, am I completely against it? No. Am I against it infesting good story depth or character growth? Yes. Is there anything I can do about it? No. Do I have a right to voice my opinion? I am a member and that's what these forums are for. I also don't understand how so many RP sims have Gor elements into them, with the people mostly. It seems like, each and everyday, people bring more Gor-like (Not completely) characters into things like DW, Star Wars, even Dinosaur RP.

 

If you like 100% sexual RP and that's all you do, isn't this why sims like Dead End or Arcturus VI is for? Heck, even newbie sex sims can serve that pointless purpose! And if you wanna have a Gor character, isn't this the reason why Gor sims exist? 

 

 

Funny thing is on the gor forums they complain about too many non gor looking AVs coming in to RP. Too many people who look Goth, emo or even furry.

Gor is also misunderstood by yourself, I know plenty RPers in Gor who never have pixel sex and are there purely for the RP. As always generalizations and assumptions are never helpful.

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Based on volume, range, model detail & complexity of shoes compared to all other items, rebranding SL as "Shoe Life" makes a lot of sense .... might actually kill the weird sex stigma once and for

I thought relogging restored your virginity

Sex and gachas.

Posted Images

computer sex.jpg

 

 


Hippie Bowman wrote:


Nox Vought wrote:

For men it's about sex. For us women it's about playing dress up.

/generalizing but probably mostly true.

OMG I had it backwards!  I am playing dress up!  :matte-motes-shocked: HEHEH! 

 

Peace!

Sex at the Bowman house.

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Perrie Juran wrote:

computer sex.jpg

 

 

Hippie Bowman wrote:


Nox Vought wrote:

For men it's about sex. For us women it's about playing dress up.

/generalizing but probably mostly true.

OMG I had it backwards!  I am playing dress up!  :matte-motes-shocked: HEHEH! 

 

Peace!

Sex at the Bowman house.

LOL Perrie!  Yep!  That about sums it up.

cs.jpg

 

 

Peace!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bly me, Freud knew about SL? :smileywink:

Thank you all, for your interesting replies to this topic!!

I started this thread months ago because I was frustrated with SL-it made me depressed and I was about to leave for good. When I originally came to SL (6 years ago), it was a place to explore virtual worlds and share knowledge - and a place to hang out with your friends. I left SL after a few months and 4 years later I returned. It seemed that the "clientele" had completely changed. My avatar doesn't look sexually provocative -and yet I constantly got IMs from creepy, silent guys (with empty profiles) who obviously had one agenda only: slex. They didn't care about who I was -to them I was just another object to rub against.

I haven't changed my views on SL but I've learned to avoid certain types of people and places -and I've found that there are nice, generous, interesting, creative, empathic people here too.

Does SL in general attract sex-addicts with low empathy and bad communication skills? Yes I think so, but I've learned how to avoid them -more or less... 

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This suprises me somehow. My avatar looks attractiv in some way and I dress her up in sexy clothes every now and then. But I never had any trouble with the kind of creepy guy you seem to have had. Even at very obivious adult places. I wonder why our experiances are so different :smileysurprised:

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

Bly me, Freud knew about SL? :smileywink:

Thank you all, for your interesting replies to this topic!!

I started this thread months ago because I was frustrated with SL-it made me depressed and I was about to leave for good. When I originally came to SL (6 years ago), it was a place to explore virtual worlds and share knowledge - and a place to hang out with your friends. I left SL after a few months and 4 years later I returned. It seemed that the "clientele" had completely changed. My avatar doesn't look sexually provocative -and yet I constantly got IMs from creepy, silent guys (with empty profiles) who obviously had one agenda only: slex. They didn't care about who I was -to them I was just another object to rub against.

I haven't changed my views on SL but I've learned to avoid certain types of people and places -and I've found that there are nice, generous, interesting, creative, empathic people here too.

Does SL in general attract sex-addicts with low empathy and bad communication skills? Yes I think so, but I've learned how to avoid them -more or less... 

This has been a fun thread Zeta!  Thanks for posting it!

 

 

Peace!

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Recently I have noticed new guys who come up to me or my friends in a newbie AV. The convo usually goes something like:

(BTW creepyfella007 does not exist...yet)

creepyfella007: Hi

Me: Hi there

creepyfella007: You're sexy

Me: Thank you

creepyfella007: How old u

Me: Old enough to know better

creepyfella007: You have Skype/Msn/Yahoo?? You camsex me, I hav huge *****

At this point I do the usual, either, block, bat, kick or humiliate depending on his response. Point is a few new guys go straight from the welcome Island to trying to cam anything in a skirt. Not bothered with immersion at all. Thankfully this is only a small percentage of the newbies I see at our adult info hub

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Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

I have that av!!! its from Grendels. we should tangle cords sometime. :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

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Drake1 Nightfire wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

I have that av!!! its from Grendels. we should tangle cords sometime. :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

omg that's hilarious ...

Imagines you all populating the grid with baby appiances.  The ACDC jokes will be endless!!

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you would never get asked for sex if you made a ugly avatar, robot, non-human ect and you would cut getting asked down to about 1% by making a male ugly avatar

i dont think people who make scantily dressed young female avatars should complain about being hit on since they chose to make a sex object as defined by modern culture as their avatar

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ZenEagle wrote:

you would never get asked for sex if you made a ugly avatar, robot, non-human ect and you would cut getting asked down to about 1% by making a male ugly avatar

i dont think people who make scantily dressed young female avatars should complain about being hit on since they chose to make a sex object as defined by modern culture as their avatar

Ya I like to look good for my partner and I can deal with men hitting on me all day long, have been my whole adult life. Having fun with it here is just that...fun.

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a 80 year old man who makes a sexy female avatar gets hit on all the time in sl too :)

likewise a 20 something attractive rl female who makes a frumpy male avatar will never get hit on in sl

 

we choose our sl experience  by what we make our avatars look like

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Yes I choose to reflect my RL in SL, plenty of us here, even on this thread, that do so, thousands choose to do so in SL. I understand what you are saying, it sounds remarkably like what a certain policeman said in Toronto a few years back. Yes even in RL, all the 20 something girls could wear bin liners and rubber sandals, however they love to dress the part.

Remember **bleep** walk?

http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/

You can choose to live your SL wearing a burka...would you want to?  Sorry Mr. Police Officer, what I am wearing IS NOT an invitation.

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I'm sorry -but that is the most silly argument I have heard for a really long time. I'm not even sure why I bother react to this...

I remember when I was a young woman -Being pretty, I got hit on quite often and most of the time I found it annoying and exhausting. I have also been exposed to sexual harassment from coworkers several times -even when I dressed in comely clothes.

So what is your point? That a woman who wears a dress has to put up with sexual harassment?According to you -young women should wear a burka if they don't want to be hit on? Really?

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What ever I wear in SL is not a charter to treat me like I don't deserve respect. My avatars apperance is not an agreement to treat me bad in any kind. If a woman wears a short dress, its not an invitation for men to harm her. She is not asking for it, she only wants to look beautiful and spend a nice summer day the way she wants.

I'm an adult, I got teached to ask for things if I want them. You sound like a bully I met when I was a child. I asked why he is so mean all the time to my friend. His answer was because she looks the way she does. What a silly argument to make someone sad.

I can deal with dumb chatup lines and stupid mens behavior, but at no point I asked for it.

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ZenEagle wrote:

you would never get asked for sex if you made a ugly avatar, robot, non-human ect and you would cut getting asked down to about 1% by making a male ugly avatar

i dont think people who make scantily dressed young female avatars should complain about being hit on since they chose to make a sex object as defined by modern culture as their avatar

This thinking is archaic.  Not only that, but it's absolutely self serving bs & is simply a lame excuse for bad behavior on the person that believes this. 

Akin to - the keys were in the ignition so I stole the car.  Not my fault the owner was neglectful. 

 

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ZenEagle wrote:

you would never get asked for sex if you made a ugly avatar, robot, non-human ect and you would cut getting asked down to about 1% by making a male ugly avatar

i dont think people who make scantily dressed young female avatars should complain about being hit on since they chose to make a sex object as defined by modern culture as their avatar

really? so the HUGE furry community that gets hit on CONSTANTLY by non furs is wrong and lying? i get requests all the time, from both men and women. if i am in the mood i say sure, if not i politely tel them so and tell them to ask another time. Does that meke me a **bleep**? no, just makes me human.

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Pick Up Line.jpg


Rival Destiny wrote:


Drake1 Nightfire wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

I have that av!!! its from Grendels. we should tangle cords sometime. :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

omg that's hilarious ...

Imagines you all populating the grid with baby appiances.  The ACDC jokes will be endless!!



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I had a friend in high school who was the typical blond cheerleader. She wore "sexy" outfits in high school, danced around at football games in short skirts etc, but after graduation she cut her hair very short and stopped wearing make up. She also stopped wearing sexy clothes. I never asked her why but I assumed she was done being viewed as a sex object since she was entering college and didn't need or desire the attention. She is now a college grad, has a great job and is married with two kids.

There are a lot of pluses to choosing to look like a sexy female in a video game. I have met several men who are female in sl because they say they like the attention. Even in other games like Warcraft men will impersonate females because of the special way they get treated. I remember making a male in Warcraft and asking for help with a quest and getting no replies for an hour. I made a female, logged in, and got 4 people wanting to help me immediately. Also, beauty has nothing to do with sexy they are two different things though I'm sure a lot of people confuse the two.

If somebody really didn’t want male attention in a video game the obvious question would be then why make a sexy female avatar? What is it a sexy avatar gives them that they want? I would guess there’s some dual goals there. They want to feel special and desired yet also don't want some unwanted attention. Or they are living out a fantasy of playing some idealized version of their real life self.

It is a complex subject because a lot of it is unconscious conditioning. I mean look at high heals. They cause foot pain and injury bunions etc make it hard to walk yet women wear them to look "sexy." Studies have also shown it’s not to just look good to men, women do it out of peer pressure as well to look good to other females. Some women can’t leave the house without make-up on. Here again, society and media have conditioned humans to feel certain natural things about themselves need to be covered up or presented in a certain way to fit the cultural expectations and ideals. Look at tattoos! Why would anyone injure the skin and body by forcing ink into it with needles? People are convinced it makes them special.

The body ages and everyone gets old yet many spend thousands on plastic surgery to try to fight the natural aging process as they want to remain looking “attractive.” Look at that word, attractive, meaning to attract. Really we are beautiful based on what’s inside, not out. What we do is important, who we are, not how we look.

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I think there is a difference between male attention (or female attention...think a sexy outfit also fits well in a lesbian club) and the bad behavior we are talking about. Dressing sexy doesn't lead to dressing slutty or asking for the rude sexual comments. Also its a risky topic in RL you touched with your statement.

But back to topic,  attention.

I don't say I won't want attention. I'm always happy when someone IMs me and truly says they love my avatar/clothes. It makes me proud that others think I have a good taste. Even in a sexual setting, there are can be a kind of "good" attention. A skilled roleplayer who finds me attractive is always welcome to spend the night with me, because its a pleasure for both. But a rude idiot/noob who probably doesn't have a clue on who to talk with women is nobody I want attention from.

A seductivly dressed avatar can attract both kind of people. Yet, you can't say the person wanted all of the attention they get.

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ZenEagle wrote:

I had a friend in high school who was the typical blond cheerleader. She wore "sexy" outfits in high school, danced around at football games in short skirts etc, but after graduation she cut her hair very short and stopped wearing make up. She also stopped wearing sexy clothes. I never asked her why but I assumed she was done being viewed as a sex object since she was entering college and didn't need or desire the attention. She is now a college grad, has a great job and is married with two kids.

There are a lot of pluses to choosing to look like a sexy female in a video game. I have met several men who are female in sl because they say they like the attention. Even in other games like Warcraft men will impersonate females because of the special way they get treated. I remember making a male in Warcraft and asking for help with a quest and getting no replies for an hour. I made a female, logged in, and got 4 people wanting to help me immediately. Also, beauty has nothing to do with sexy they are two different things though I'm sure a lot of people confuse the two.

If somebody really didn’t want male attention in a video game the obvious question would be then why make a sexy female avatar? What is it a sexy avatar gives them that they want? I would guess there’s some dual goals there. They want to feel special and desired yet also don't want some unwanted attention. Or they are living out a fantasy of playing some idealized version of their real life self.

It is a complex subject because a lot of it is unconscious conditioning. I mean look at high heals. They cause foot pain and injury bunions etc make it hard to walk yet women wear them to look "sexy." Studies have also shown it’s not to just look good to men, women do it out of peer pressure as well to look good to other females. Some women can’t leave the house without make-up on. Here again, society and media have conditioned humans to feel certain natural things about themselves need to be covered up or presented in a certain way to fit the cultural expectations and ideals. Look at tattoos! Why would anyone injure the skin and body by forcing ink into it with needles? People are convinced it makes them special.

The body ages and everyone gets old yet many spend thousands on plastic surgery to try to fight the natural aging process as they want to remain looking “attractive.” Look at that word, attractive, meaning to attract. Really we are beautiful based on what’s inside, not out. What we do is important, who we are, not how we look.

Its quite simple.

Some of us choose to be here as we are in RL, we make our AVs as close to our RL bodies as we can

For some of us that means getting hit on.

But its the lack of self inhibition in the men (usually) we are laughing about and commenting on.

 

I will give you the benefit of the doubt because you are new.

For a lot of RL girls in SL its the Barbie doll dress up angle that we enjoy, amongst other things.

Because we choose to have our fun usually with our friends and partners, it is not normally an issue

I understand what you are saying and to a degree you are right. However that is the nature of SL, its what you make of it, your fun your way.

 

But to some of us it seems to be getting worse, where men (usually) want to jump straight to a RL hook up or cam etc. And that process takes time and trust.

 

 

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To some extend I think the western world has become more sexualized -young women are unhappy with their (normal) breastsize and body hair seems to have mystically dissapeared from the surface of the earth. I think the easy access to online pornography has changed young peoples body image. I'm not going to lecture here -I don't think it's all black and white.  50 years ago women were categorized as stereotypes -being either a Jackie or a Marylin. Today, young people switch identities and explore their sexuality. There is (in the western world) a new openess towards sexuality and our perception of genders -personally I think it's a positive development. Having said that, I often find the gender roles in Second Life stereotyped and often oversexualized -this goes for male avi's too. It's a free world and people are entitled to dress up or down as they wish, we still have to treat each other with respect.

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