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Zeta Zemach

Is Second Life only about sex?

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In fact... now that I think about it... Why Don't I get hit on in SL?  I have a cute av!  hmph!

I think I'm hurt.

Please feel free to hit on me, if you are single irl, and preferably rich! 

:matte-motes-inlove:

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Cali Souther wrote:

In fact... now that I think about it... Why Don't I get hit on in SL?  I have a cute av!  hmph!

I think I'm hurt.

Please feel free to hit on me, if you are single irl, and preferably rich! 

:matte-motes-inlove:

I try to all the time but it seems you just walk right on by me. ;)

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Cali Souther wrote:

No mocking, Keli ;-)  Can I have one?

Sure we can see if Ever wants to cook us some. Great new profile picture bwt. :)

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Cali Souther wrote:

In fact... now that I think about it... Why Don't I get hit on in SL?  I have a cute av!  hmph!

I think I'm hurt.

Please feel free to hit on me, if you are single irl, and preferably rich! 

:matte-motes-inlove:

I have noticed a phenomenon that the longer a person has been in SL the fewer "wanna f*ck" requests there are.  I suspect that may be because the 'wanna f*ckers' learn quickly that more established residents are the less tolerant they are of it.

I did witness a gal call out a guy in local chat a few nights ago,  "Hey Bob, if you are going to IM all the girls here, we have names and it isn't "Sexy."

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I notice the same for bite requests. Older residents get less likly requests from vampires as new avatars. Also the location seems to be one of the elements that influence the chance of both kinds of requests. They happen more often on places being visited by new residents (high traffic danc clubs, some beaches and "cheap" adult sims).

I guess they get frustrated with old residents, which tend to require a decent looking avatar and have higher expections on fliriting than what they hear from them. Other new residents might be not so critical or doesn't know how things work here and what they can expect here.

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Pick Up Line.jpg

 


Syo Emerald wrote:

I notice the same for bite requests. Older residents get less likly requests from vampires as new avatars. Also the location seems to be one of the elements that influence the chance of both kinds of requests. They happen more often on places being visited by new residents (high traffic danc clubs, some beaches and "cheap" adult sims).

I guess they get frustrated with old residents, which tend to require a decent looking avatar and have higher expections on fliriting than what they hear from them. Other new residents might be not so critical or doesn't know how things work here and what they can expect here.

This is true,  Sometimes trying to "pick a girl up" seems to become more of a verbal dance.

But if you really do want to get 'hit on' you could just add this picture to your profile.

 

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The verbal dance....well I think thats cause in a virtual world and especially for women its important to seduce not only in a visiual way. The cinema in the head is the best turn on, I think :catembarrassed:

Oh and I really love that picture. Its cute somehow.

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Keli Kyrie wrote:


Cali Souther wrote:

No mocking, Keli ;-)  Can I have one?

Sure we can see if Ever wants to cook us some. Great new profile picture bwt.
:)

ty! :-)

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Perrie Juran wrote:


Cali Souther wrote:

In fact... now that I think about it... Why Don't I get hit on in SL?  I have a cute av!  hmph!

I think I'm hurt.

Please feel free to hit on me, if you are single irl, and preferably rich! 

:matte-motes-inlove:

I have noticed a phenomenon that the longer a person has been in SL the fewer "wanna f*ck" requests there are.  I suspect that may be because the 'wanna f*ckers' learn quickly that more established residents are the less tolerant they are of it.

I did witness a gal call out a guy in local chat a few nights ago,  "Hey Bob, if you are going to IM all the girls here, we have names and it isn't "Sexy."

LOL Perrie!  ~ yeah,  they like the clueless ones, eh?  ...  

Let me re-phrase.

If you are single irl, preferrably rich & have some manners - feel free to hit on me in SL.   :-)

Reminds me of the time...

Accidentially accepted a tp request that just happened to come when I was expecting one from someone showing me land to rent.

I land in this house and here's this man,  fully clothed but his nanner was hangin out proud as you please.

He said,  You kept flying around so I thought you wanted some...

I said - Umm... I'm looking for land to rent! Egads!

Needless to say,  I did NOT rent near him!

 

 

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Perrie Juran wrote:

Pick Up Line.jpg

 

Syo Emerald wrote:

I notice the same for bite requests. Older residents get less likly requests from vampires as new avatars. Also the location seems to be one of the elements that influence the chance of both kinds of requests. They happen more often on places being visited by new residents (high traffic danc clubs, some beaches and "cheap" adult sims).

I guess they get frustrated with old residents, which tend to require a decent looking avatar and have higher expections on fliriting than what they hear from them. Other new residents might be not so critical or doesn't know how things work here and what they can expect here.

This is true,  Sometimes trying to "pick a girl up" seems to become more of a verbal dance.

But if you really do want to get 'hit on' you could just add this picture to your profile.

 

 

 

 

I prefer the verbal dance :-)  That is, however,  cute!  I guess "Hit on" can be interpreted differently.

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Syo Emerald wrote:

The verbal dance....well I think thats cause in a virtual world and especially for women its important to seduce not only in a visiual way. The cinema in the head is the best turn on, I think :catembarrassed:

 

That's exactly right! You see this a lot with men in SL, and I tend to think it's just being lazy.. along with a fundamental misunderstanding of how we work. I ran into this very thing last night, and I ended up walking away thinking "..I wonder if he knows what he's losing because he can't get out of guy-pron mode for a few minutes". That kind of lazy and "girl-stupid" I don't have time for on any day.

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Dana Hickman wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

The verbal dance....well I think thats cause in a virtual world and especially for women its important to seduce not only in a visiual way. The cinema in the head is the best turn on, I think :catembarrassed:

That's exactly right! You see this a lot with men in SL, and I tend to think it's just being lazy.. along with a fundamental misunderstanding of how we work. I ran into this very thing last night, and I ended up walking away thinking "..I wonder if he knows what he's losing because he can't get out of guy-pron mode for a few minutes". That kind of lazy and "girl-stupid" I don't have time for on
any
day.

I've often wondered if those fellas are actually losing. They don't attract us, but we don't know their success rate. Could it be that they walk away thinking "I wonder if she knows what she's losing  because she can't turn her brain off for a few minutes?" When I was in college, I was dumbfounded over the kinds of guys some of my girlfriends fawned over. I think not all of us are "cinema in the head" types and that means we'll forever have to put up with "guy-pron" types because some of us like 'em. And they'll forever have to put up with snooty bitches like me because (though I have only scant evidence to support this) some people like us.

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I am not sure where you have been hanging out...but there is so much more to SL than "hooking up" with someone. You should find new places to go.

SL is full of interesting and creative people who doesnt need to get around to have fun. Explore other parts of SL is my suggestion :)

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Dana Hickman wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

The verbal dance....well I think thats cause in a virtual world and especially for women its important to seduce not only in a visiual way. The cinema in the head is the best turn on, I think :catembarrassed:

That's exactly right! You see this a lot with men in SL, and I tend to think it's just being lazy.. along with a fundamental misunderstanding of how we work. I ran into this very thing last night, and I ended up walking away thinking "..I wonder if he knows what he's losing because he can't get out of guy-pron mode for a few minutes". That kind of lazy and "girl-stupid" I don't have time for on
any
day.

I've often wondered if those fellas are actually losing. They don't attract us, but we don't know their success rate. Could it be that they walk away thinking "I wonder if she knows what she's losing  because she can't turn her brain off for a few minutes?" When I was in college, I was dumbfounded over the kinds of guys some of my girlfriends fawned over. I think not all of us are "cinema in the head" types and that means we'll forever have to put up with "guy-pron" types because some of us like 'em. And they'll forever have to put up with snooty bitches like me because (though I have only scant evidence to support this) some people like us.

They must have a success rate or they'd quit doing it.

But this does bring to mind this point, that every person is a 'whole package,' and part of that package includes sex.  Each of us are different as to what our limits, desires, etc are when it comes to sex.

There is ofttimes a lot of mistrust between people regarding this be they hetero, gay, or what have you (no slurs intended) as to what the other person's intentions are. 

I've seen this catch 22 come up with couples.  The partner says, "If you were nicer to me maybe I'd be more willing (????!!!!!) to have sex with you," but then when you are nice they say,  "You are only being nice because you want sex."  That is an absolute no win situation. Monogamy not withstanding and perhaps what you might define as a few reasonable expectations like cleanliness or paying some attention to your partner, the moment you put an additional price on or for sex in a relationship, that relationship is doomed.

I don't desire to have sex with every girl I meet in SL nor do I try to.  And yes, guys get "hit on" too though generally it's more subtle.

I agree, many guys (myself included) don't always understand how girls work but I also think it goes the other way, that the girls don't recognize that part of the male package is our sexual side and what sex in the relationship means to us.  In a monogamous relationship, we make ourselves dependent on our partner for sex and if you make us work too hard for it or if you make us feel like you are doing us a favor it is a recipe for disaster.

Still, we each choose whom and with how many we freely give ourselves to.

 

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Moonie Ghanduhar wrote:

Most poeple who are new here use is as an excuse to make other people hate this game.. but no its not true... Im a manager,dj,model and a photographer in this game , i have many friends... but yes... sometimes i like havin fun too ... but its not all about sex =)

Umm, why would they do that? I'm merely expressing my frustration being a female avatar in SL I don't think I'm the only one.

I have been asked for slex in sims where slex wasn't allowed, and I have often been defriended when men found out that I was serious about not having slex or relationships. I got to the point where I started to mistrust all men in SL. A couple of months ago I changed my profile to be even more specific about slex and relationships, and the interesting thing is that people practically never contact me any more. It seems to be either you are open to slex or you don't have a social life in SL. Thats my experience anyway, I hope I'm wrong because I really find SL to be an interesting place.

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Thats a bit sad :matte-motes-frown:

If people only contact you for slex...maybe youre better off without them.

Dont give it up though,there are a lot of good guys in SL who actually know how to treat a woman like a human being instead of just an object.

 

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I can't seem to quote today  ... some error code... but.

"I agree, many guys (myself included) don't always understand how girls work but I also think it goes the other way, that the girls don't recognize that part of the male package is our sexual side and what sex in the relationship means to us.  In a monogamous relationship, we make ourselves dependent on our partner for sex and if you make us work too hard for it or if you make us feel like you are doing us a favor it is a recipe for disaster."

 

That goes both ways as well, and in any kind of relationship (M/F, FF, MM)...  and I think it simply highlights a deeper problem in the relationship. 

Personally,  I don't want anyone to pretend or be anything but who they are.  If we connect, great ... if not,  that's just the way it goes.

If a guy likes to walk up to a woman and say,  "hey baby let's do it" ...  it won't work on me, but I bet it does work - and if it works for them,  so be it.

 

 

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Zeta Zemach wrote:


Moonie Ghanduhar wrote:

Most poeple who are new here use is as an excuse to make other people hate this game.. but no its not true... Im a manager,dj,model and a photographer in this game , i have many friends... but yes... sometimes i like havin fun too ... but its not all about sex =)

Umm, why would they do that? I'm merely expressing my frustration being a female avatar in SL I don't think I'm the only one.

I have been asked for slex in sims where slex wasn't allowed, and I have often been defriended when men found out that I was serious about not having slex or relationships. I got to the point where I started to mistrust all men in SL. A couple of months ago I changed my profile to be even more specific about slex and relationships, and the interesting thing is that people practically never contact me any more. It seems to be either you are open to slex or you don't have a social life in SL. Thats my experience anyway, I hope I'm wrong because I really find SL to be an interesting place.

 

ha.. the quote thing worked this time... go figure...

 

Zeta,

I absolutely do not think that is the way it is in SL,  so don't give up.  If we were on MSN or Yahoo chat at about 12 midnight, I'd say - OK, that's about all you are going to get here... but SL really does have a LOT more to offer.  :-)

 

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:
I've often wondered if those fellas are actually losing. They don't attract us, but we don't know their success rate. Could it be that they walk away thinking "I wonder if she knows what she's losing  because she can't turn her brain off for a few minutes?"


 

Valid point there, and one I do have some experience with, but the situation I spoke of was something a little bit different. This was one of those "all ya gotta do is show up and tease me a little, help me get in the mood" kind of things, so no "turning off the brain" required, only "turn on the woman". His success rate means zip to me, so from my end it's him being lazy, and losing out on me.. which is the only stat I would care about lol. It's also not understanding that 99% of women who can move from pure social to pure sex without any warmup are going to be men using female AVs. Real women are wired differently, and so I hope he has lots of fun with those guys :smileytongue:

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Dana Hickman wrote:


Madelaine McMasters wrote:
I've often wondered if those fellas are actually losing. They don't attract us, but we don't know their success rate. Could it be that they walk away thinking "I wonder if she knows what she's losing  because she can't turn her brain off for a few minutes?"


 

Valid point there, and one I do have some experience with, but the situation I spoke of was something a little bit different. This was one of those "all ya gotta do is show up and tease me a little, help me get in the mood" kind of things, so no "turning off the brain" required, only "turn on the woman". His success rate means zip to me, so from my end it's him being lazy, and losing out on
me
.. which is the only stat I would care about lol. It's also not understanding that 99% of women who can move from pure social to pure sex without any warmup are going to be men using female AVs. Real women are wired differently, and so I hope he has lots of fun with those guys :smileytongue:

I understand what you are saying about women being wired different.

But I have a slight problem with the statement "that 99% of women who can move from pure social to pure sex without any warmup are going to be men using female AVs, and so I hope he has lots of fun with those guys" 

This appears to me to be saying that these female Ava's are really gay men logged in as women for the purpose of having pixel sex with other men.  And given the number of "I'm a **bleep**, please use me type" female Avatars we see, it would make for a very large number of people doing it.  I am not saying it doesn't happen, but 99% would seem to me to be an extremely high number.

Perhaps the reason some of these woman can appear to move so fast is because they've logged in to enjoy the extra stimulation the mental imagery gives them.  In other words, they have already decided they want to 'get off' and pixelating for them is an additional aid.

 

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I think there is more to be said (well, of course I do: that's why I'm saying something). I can only go with my life experience but in RL I have to say that Dana's comment matches my experience. The instant switch social/sexual from a woman is something I've never seen. It's of course NOT an instant switch from a male: sexual is always part of the situation.

On the other hand, you saying that if Dana's statistics are correct (I'm guessing she was just throwing out a number intended to be read as 'large') those female avatars who can move from social to sexual in a heartbeat are GAY men is a bit off, from my perspective. Bisexual would be much more likely (I say that because I believe it, and also because I saw a comment recently about Oscar Wilde being 'the gayest man who ever lived" and his biographers usually describe him as bisexual, something I believe just based on what I've read. True, in Victorian England there was no distinction between the two. There is now. I have zero knowledge, but my guess is that a gay man coming to SL will present as a gay man. Why would he not?

Your last comment I think is exactly right. People DO come here expecting to 'play'. It seems reasonable that some RL females are logged in for that reason and that reason only. I know, or at least I think I know from seeing things you've written around here you already know this last bit, so it's not really directed at you. It's just something I was taught sort of indirectly and that I think is correct.  I'll paragraph again (how did I get so interested in this discussion?).

A guy who does NOT assume the woman he's engaging wants nothing more than to jump into bed with him (even if said woman is a hooker) will enjoy himself more than vice versa.

 

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good points.

no doubt there can be a lot of variations.

i just felt that 99% was a very high number to use.

and i still have not met a female avatar who would sleep with a Martian.

 

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