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Zeta Zemach

Is Second Life only about sex?

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

I have been in Seoond Life for about a year now  (actually I have been there for 5 years, but I had a 4 year break and came back about a year ago) and it gets more and more clear to me that Second Life primarily is about sex and partnerships, and I often find the gender roles to be overly sexy and overly romantic. I know I'm stepping on somebodys toes here
:(

Im not interested in neither and for that reason I'm wondering if there is any future for me in SL. What I found was a lot of needy men who would defriend me as soon as they realized that I was serious about not having sex or relationships.

I'm in SL because I'm interested in virtual worlds and I like to talk to people from all over the world

What do you think? Does it make any sense to be in SL if you dont want to have sex or doesn't believe in SL relationsships??

 

 

 if they defriend you on account of that, forget about them.... And yes you can have a future on SL without partnership or sex....

 I often see this though:

Exp: real world profile info a sunbronzed babe with cleavage or ass shot.. Then the words.. I do not want sl sex or rl relationship.. This is a tease and sends the wrong signals. So the men and women are confused because the picture doesnt match the words, so they assume no one is being truthful about their wants, needs and reason for being on SL...

 If someone begins flirting in a sexual way, state nicely that you are not here for that and you are giving them the oppertunity to leave the conversation before either of you  invest anything more than a casual greeting.. It might be awkward, but then again it might save you a headach when someone ends a friendship you had and you thought they were true friends. 

  I have found that I have had to do this a few time the past couple of months.. Must be breeding season or something ...they usually run off quickly but it was nice to know I would not have to spend my time with them deflecting advances or sexual flirtations...

 Also your appearance plays a key role in this.... If you dresss like a **bleep** you send an inviation you are available.. You can be sexy and still not project "I'm here for sex!" look....

 

crap this is to wordy I will end now.

 

 

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Faye Feldragonne wrote:

I seldom see anything sexually oriented in SL because I avoid it.

As far as your comment about men unfriending you when they realize they can't get farther, I guess the question begets another: Where are you meeting these men?

If you meet them in ballrooms, they're probably going to want something more than if you meet them in a builder's group.

Set your boundaries "before" accepting the friendship.

Partnerships are complex relationships in SL, and seldom are just about sex. SL is best shared with others. SL can seem profoundly lonely...a phenomenon we've all experienced after the loss of a beloved partner.

Romance is prevalent because of the beautiful arena and streaming music, and perfect little avatars. 

 

 WOW, looks at your hot little sexy avatar with a bra top on and wonders how you can say you avoid sex in that outfit!  

 I was in guthries (Folk club music venue ) and some dude approaced me and after dancing a little while invited me to a 3 some with his GF.. Dont start with the where do you hang out thing...

 

However I agree with the boundries.

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When I want to avoid being aproached for SLEX, I put on my old man using a walker avatar.  It always works, and I build in peace!  HEHE!

 

Peace!

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LuciaRiley wrote:

The thing for me is I can do one sexual thing (be it role play or 'just because') and be good for hours. That is why it isn't an every single second thing for me. Was tired back whenever I posted, so didn't make this clear.

 I do it once and am good to go for weeks. wow just hours for you? *grins* 

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

When I want to avoid being aproached for SLEX, I put on my old man using a walker avatar.  It always works, and I build in peace!  HEHE!

 Peace!

That's all over now, big boy. I have a thing for walkers. Do you have day-glo tennis balls on the bottom of yours?

/me fans herself.

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Hippie Bowman wrote:

When I want to avoid being aproached for SLEX, I put on my old man using a walker avatar.  It always works, and I build in peace!  HEHE!

 Peace!

That's all over now, big boy. I have a thing for walkers. Do you have day-glo tennis balls on the bottom of yours?

/me fans herself.

 Oh baby I want some of that.... lol ya know, that reminds me.. My ex used to have one of those avatars! LMAO goawd it was intense!!!

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Hippie Bowman wrote:

When I want to avoid being aproached for SLEX, I put on my old man using a walker avatar.  It always works, and I build in peace!  HEHE!

 Peace!

That's all over now, big boy. I have a thing for walkers. Do you have day-glo tennis balls on the bottom of yours?

/me fans herself.

Rarrw Maddy!  I wish I did now!  Sigh

 

Peace!

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Hippie Bowman wrote:

I had this for my RL picture for a while too.  It worked good!

damn.jpeg

Peace!

Oh Lordy that's hot.

/me runs off to take a cold shower.

Sigh!  I guess this picture dont work anymore.

 

Peace!

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That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

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Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

That's a great gimmick!  And if any guy is turned on by a toaster, he is just plain sick!  Mute (block) and move on!

toaster.jpg

 

Peace!

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@Tarina: Sure, If you look overly sexy on your profile photo sooner or later you will be contacted by creepy guys.

However this wasn't the case. I''m nice looking. More Meryl Streep-ish than Pamela Anderson -actually I have never had a cleavage LOL.

Being pretty is not an invitation for sex. I have had my share of sexual harassment during my RL career. I learned very quickly not to smile to much, not to flirt and to dress down. I always try to look my best wether I'm going to a business meeting or seing friends. What I'm trying to say is that as a woman you always have to find that balance between looking your best and being sexy. I think that women should be allowed to be beautiful in RL and SL without constantly being hit on or asked for sex. 

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The avatar actually had the option to let some toast show up. I could even chose a toast which is burned and some smoke.

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Syo Emerald wrote:

The avatar actually had the option to let some toast show up. I could even chose a toast which is burned and some smoke.

So far out!  HEHE!

 

Peace!

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Tarina Sewell wrote:

 Also your appearance plays a key role in this.... If you dresss like a **bleep** you send an inviation you are available.. You can be sexy and still not project "I'm here for sex!" look....

 

This is true, but it's also true that if one takes their appearance past a certain level of perceived beauty they also start to send the 'unapproachable for sex' or 'out of my league' message to would-be suitors... so the opposite effect takes place and you don't get hit on more, you get hit on much, much less than you do when you dress down.

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Hippie Bowman wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

That's a great gimmick!  And if any guy is turned on by a toaster, he is just plain sick!  Mute (block) and move on!

toaster.jpg

 

Peace!

you want what.jpg

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Perrie Juran wrote:


Hippie Bowman wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

That's a great gimmick!  And if any guy is turned on by a toaster, he is just plain sick!  Mute (block) and move on!

toaster.jpg

 

Peace!

you want what.jpg


OMG so funny!  HEHEH!

 

Peace!

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

What do you think? Does it make any sense to be in SL if you dont want to have sex or doesn't believe in SL relationsships??

 

Yes.  I go to Guitar Zane (huge fan!) and Senjata Witt concerts.  I visit beautiful, artistic builds like ChouChou.  I look at the lovely and creative couture designs of people like Sonatta Morales and Vitabela Dubrovna.   I play in the haunted houses and amusement parks with my friends.  I go on scavenger hunts.  I help English-language learners practice English.  I visit regions built for people who have lives and experiences different from my own, like the Transgenders, communists, Scientologists, Italians.  (No particular order to that, it is just so happens I do not fall into any of those categories, but I am curious and somewhat social by nature and Second Life bridges huge distances in mere moments, so I take advantage of that and go see what is different.)  I explore and look and touch and play and listen and chat and do a whole lot of things that aren't about sex or relationships.

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Hippie Bowman wrote:


Perrie Juran wrote:


Hippie Bowman wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

That reminds me of the avatar I used to avoid any kind of flirting and dumb guys asking for sex. I was a tiny black toaster. I had tiny legs to walk, a cable as a tail and I could even fly with some tiny white wings. Most people were simply to confused on what they saw. It was.....the ultimate peace, but also a little boring, cause dancing was notthing a toaster can do.

 

But SL is not only about sex.....I wouldn't be here if that were the case....I spend all my time here on other things.

That's a great gimmick!  And if any guy is turned on by a toaster, he is just plain sick!  Mute (block) and move on!

toaster.jpg

 

Peace!

you want what.jpg


OMG so funny!  HEHEH!

 

Peace!

Whore Outlet.jpg

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

What do you think? Does it make any sense to be in SL if you dont want to have sex or doesn't believe in SL relationsships??

 

Wow, if its all about sex, then I've completely failed at getting the point of Second Life over the last six years. I think it is largely about socializing (and largely a creative outlet, and about gaming. it is many things to many people), and socializing can include sexual relationships - but it can also be about friendship without any of that.

Some places in SL are more sex oriented than others (eg., Zindra)

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Most poeple who are new here use is as an excuse to make other people hate this game.. but no its not true... Im a manager,dj,model and a photographer in this game , i have many friends... but yes... sometimes i like havin fun too ... but its not all about sex =)

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For me SL is a place where I can be creative and if I want to I can socialize too. Ive seen more people who want to be creative and create stuff then those who are looking for sex.

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

I have been in Seoond Life for about a year now  (actually I have been there for 5 years, but I had a 4 year break and came back about a year ago) and it gets more and more clear to me that Second Life primarily is about sex and partnerships, and I often find the gender roles to be overly sexy and overly romantic. I know I'm stepping on somebodys toes here
:(

Im not interested in neither and for that reason I'm wondering if there is any future for me in SL. What I found was a lot of needy men who would defriend me as soon as they realized that I was serious about not having sex or relationships.

I'm in SL because I'm interested in virtual worlds and I like to talk to people from all over the world

What do you think? Does it make any sense to be in SL if you dont want to have sex or doesn't believe in SL relationsships??

 

 

Aside from the occasional PDA of couples in the room (and I admit,  I have a fairly low tollerance for too much mush)...

I have not found SL to be the way you describe at all. In fact - quite the opposite.  Guys rarely hit on me,  like they do in other "chat" formats.  I almost never get the ASL thing.  My friends are fun loving,  intelligent,  and here to enjoy the wonders of a virtual world. 

There is always going to be some people who come online in any virtual world looking for sex,  or looking for a relationship...but I really think SL is one of the better choices out there,  with so many things to do and see - it has so much more to offer - and it shows. 

I hope you find something better, and don't give up on it just yet.  Good luck to you!

 

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