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Is Second Life only about sex?


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Based on volume, range, model detail & complexity of shoes compared to all other items, rebranding SL as "Shoe Life" makes a lot of sense .... might actually kill the weird sex stigma once and for

I thought relogging restored your virginity

Sex and gachas.

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Sometimes it seems like it. Well i like to build, make things and sell them, explore and meet people.

Theres nothing wrong with flirting tho. But it can be annoying when you just woke up, log into SL and get IM's from some horny dudes and you arent even awake yet. They probably think that girls need sex 24/7. And "SL" stands for "Sex Life", right?

Good thing we can block/mute them here. We can't do that in RL.

So yes, it does make sense to be in SL if you dont want sex. And i do know a few men who don't need much sex here either.

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

SL is about more than sex and there are a lot of people here that aren't interested in it either.  Howver just like RL, many people are interested in it.  That doesn't make them bad people necessarily as most of them also engage in non sexual activities and have other interests.  Sex is just a part of their life like it is in RL.  However it doesn't have to be part of your SL.  Its your choice.

It is almost inevitable that someone is going to ask you for sex.  However you don't have to engage in it.  If they defriend you as a result, it tells you about the so called 'friendship'.  Your better off without that kind of friend.

 

And most likely a lot of people who in rl are interested in sex but can't for whatever reason engage in it find sl where they can do what they would rl if only rl allowed them to.

Hence there appears to be more sex (and other 'bad' and 'naughty' things as such are defined by society's 'morals') in sl than rl, simply because people have more freedom in sl.

SL enables people to shed inhibitions and prejudices forced on them by their rl environment. Indulge, enjoy, and have a good time without worrying about what your boss/neighbours/pastor/family will think of it.

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@jwenting: You prove my point -maybe SL is developing into a sex playground and the users who aren't interested in slex (or a partner) feels alienated and finally leaves SL. At least thats my own experience. It's kind of an opposite world.

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Zeta Zemach wrote:

@jwenting: You prove my point -maybe SL is developing into a sex playground and the users who isn't interested in slex (or a partner) feels alienated and finally leaves SL. At least thats my own experience. It's kind of an opposite world.

Those not wanting to be involved in SLex should most certainly be aware that this world was also built up from the ground by those who take either business or pleasure ( or both ) in adult consent and entertainment.

It would be highly unfair I find though to describe all of SL  as for that purpose only. Many fine regions still surviving prove the contrary.

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Zeta Zemach wrote:
What I found was a lot of needy men who would defriend me as soon as they realized that I was serious about not having sex or relationships.


That happens a lot, and from what I can tell it's for one of two reasons:

1) They're used to handing out friendship requests right away without much forethought into who they offer it to, and so retracting that also doesn't mean that much in their mind.

2) Didn't let them know about your non-interest in those things early enough in the conversation.. like before they've invested a bunch of talk, time, and effort to steer you towards an encounter.

 


Zeta Zemach wrote:

The reason why I wrote this post was that I realized that SL created more frustrations than Joy, and I was fed up with people asking for my friendship for the all the wrong reasons. I started to mistrust people. I actually had to remove my real-life portrait because people only commented on this, instead of reading my profile. It's also my experience that people doesn't bother to talk to me when they realize there isn't any possibility for sex or romance.

 

Oh yes, having a RL picture in your profile is like having a giant flashing neon sign over your head that says "I want to date you in RL". It will attract RLers like crazy, and they will most certainly be focused, if not completely obsessed with it in their efforts to make as much RL connection with you as possible. Removing it was the best solution. I'll also say for the record that you need to mistrust people at the start.. always. SL is the playground for many wierdos, psycho-social stalkers, and manipulative people-users, and you need to protect yourself. Trust the ones you know well and that have earned it.

As for the not talking to you thing, yeah sadly that does happen often. SL itself and much of what's in it isn't necessarily about sex or romance at all, but a high majority of it's popular social scenes are. The possibility of meeting someone and the whole mating dance thing are a big draw to people, so at places like clubs and purely social scenes one kind of has to expect to be eliminated from a lot of peoples "flirt with" card if you're not there for that. The fact that they don't even bother to talk with you at all just shows how much they value you (the possible great friend) compared to you (the possible sex encounter). Just find better places to hang out than in the meat market.

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@Dana: It didn't take a long time for me to realize that I had to be very specific in my profile. But rewriting my profile didn't hold the guys back.

As for my portrait : yes I was naive -I had no idea that having my RL portrait on my profile was an invitation. And yes I found out that SL is over flooded with weirdos. Live and learn. I don't think that there was anything in my behavior that led men on. I have always been told that my flirting-skills are terrible  :)  -but I guess people see what they want to see...

But I do ask myself wether I really want to be in a place where I constantly have to be on guard and question peoples motives...

 

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I've had my RL photo in my profile for years, never had any problems.

It is probably a combination of having a RL photo and the kind of things you do in SL.

Either that or my avatar isn't attractive enough or people think the RL photo isn't my RL photo.

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ROB34466IIIa wrote:


Zeta Zemach wrote:

@jwenting: You prove my point -maybe SL is developing into a sex playground and the users who isn't interested in slex (or a partner) feels alienated and finally leaves SL. At least thats my own experience. It's kind of an opposite world.

Those not wanting to be involved in SLex should most certainly be aware that this world was also built up from the ground by those who take either business or pleasure ( or both ) in adult consent and entertainment.

It would be highly unfair I find though to describe all of SL  as for that purpose only. Many fine regions still surviving prove the contrary.

correct. And many regions that are labelled as "adult" or "moderate" where sexual activity does take place you'll find that there's less of it than you may think.

A lot of the clubs, including strip clubs, for example have strict rules against public sex. They may provide private rooms (either free or for rent) or they simply put up signs to go elsewhere.

Most of us aren't into public orgies, even if we run around (nearly) naked, teasing and flirting, at times.

Nudity =/= sex, never mind what some people seem to think.

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yes, pubbies get on this game to just roleplay and have virtual sex, through many interactions ive learned that they feel people who point out how silly it is that they do this are told that they are wrong and then go on about how superior they are, how successful they are, and then claim that the other is the loser for questioning what they are doing in a game.

 

Though i liked that my first thread which was purely an explanation was taken as such an insult to point

out a lot of these flaws, SL gives you all the freedom you want, and whatever you do with it is up to you, just also take note that being online is less secure than real life, you'll have less privacy, but a lot of people wanted some

kind of online roleplaying sex game.

 

either way second life has cool things, amazing fun sims that are more of a videogame or exploration (like haunted houses or mazes) which exist, but the issue is you gotta find them because they are obscure and hidden. Secondlife doesnt only have the main grid.

 

 

but what you seem unhappy about is the majority that run the place and control what the overall use of second

life is.

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@Rybus Zuhal: I dont think you have to feel superior or more succesful because you dont find SLex in particularly interesting. However I cant help thinking that Slex, SL marriages and virtual babies are weird -I think most people do.  But I respect other peoples right to want these things. However there is nothing wrong in wishing there were more interllectual activities in Sl -and less Slex.  

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woah i didn't say anything about thinking of myself as superior, just everyone who talks to me immediately suggests that they are suddenly an amazing person for participating in these kind of things.

 

Nothings funnier than having people come to me saying how im a loser for not having lost my sl virginity.

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I seldom see anything sexually oriented in SL because I avoid it.

As far as your comment about men unfriending you when they realize they can't get farther, I guess the question begets another: Where are you meeting these men?

If you meet them in ballrooms, they're probably going to want something more than if you meet them in a builder's group.

Set your boundaries "before" accepting the friendship.

Partnerships are complex relationships in SL, and seldom are just about sex. SL is best shared with others. SL can seem profoundly lonely...a phenomenon we've all experienced after the loss of a beloved partner.

Romance is prevalent because of the beautiful arena and streaming music, and perfect little avatars. 

 

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It isn't only about sex and partnerships - my best friend, for example, teaches English as a Second Language inworld.  They throw great parties too, and it's pretty PG (although sometimes it slips to M due to them getting drunk.  Heh).

I do role playing, and while the sexual side is part of it, it's not the reason why I log in.  I log in due to the storytelling aspect of it, even if that storytelling becomes erotica, I take my roleplaying seriously and having a well-developed character is important to me, regardless of the rest of it.  When someone just walks up and IMs a proposition, I'm always a little thrown off.  Hehe.

There are things on SL I've seen that would make someone's hair curl - and I avoid those areas whole heartedly.  

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The thing for me is I can do one sexual thing (be it role play or 'just because') and be good for hours. That is why it isn't an every single second thing for me. Was tired back whenever I posted, so didn't make this clear.

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Hey Zeta. There are a lot of other things to participate in besides sex and partnerships! You just gotta GET OUT THRE! Personally I enjoy the sexy romance and hunts for a good mate...but the sex can be quite comical, so it's not something I'm a big fan of. I enjoy photography. Traveling to exotic sims created by amazing sim developers and taking pictures to show them is good past time for me. I also get to meet a few unique individuals along the way who share my love for art and creativity and NO they do not want to take me to bed LOL After two years of being in SL I have also recently discovered the joy of building (I've always been a moder not a builder) It's easy to get out there and find something that you love to do that doesn't involve going to a strip club and getting naked. You can search for groups that talk about a particular interest you like....say "International Friends" or something like that. People in group chat offer LM's, talk about what they are doing, and post events for gatherings of the like minds. I guess the secret is search, search, and SEARH! Don't give up..sex is everywhere in SL...Oh yes. But in between the nooks and cranies are gems, and many who are just like you: No sex, No partnership!

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