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What to do if you find out that your partner is the opposite sex in real life?


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PudgyPaddy wrote:


Rosemaery Lorefield wrote:

I understand that someone hurt your feelings and that is hard,
but you were absolutely not raped. Suggesting so is totally insulting to those of us who have actually been victimized in our RL. 

Define victimized?

One may say suggesting you have been victimized in SL is insulting to those of us who have been subjected to rolling restarts.

Proportion is everything.   


PudgyPaddy  then later wrote:


Rosemaery Lorefield wrote:

I don't think I'll indulge your request out of respect to other's delicate eyes.
:)

Maybe it's your thing, but trying to be cute talking about rape is a little too distasteful for me to be amused at.

Cute?  I didn't put shiny smiley faces on my post. 

It was the ridiculousness of your usage of the word "victimize" at which I was laughing. 

You highlight Rosemaery's statement about victimization in RL (and later laughingly accuse Rosemaery of being "ridiculous" for her use of the word "vicitimize".) and then go on to discuss victimization in SL.

I quite agree with Rosemaery's distinction between victimization (rape) in RL and the far lesser evil of having feelings hurt in SL.

Please Pudgy, for your own good, either recuse yourself from arguments of substance or take the time to read and understand the things upon which you comment.

Proportion, absent comprehension... is nothing.

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

You highlight Rosemaery's statement about
victimization in
RL
(and later laughingly accuse Rosemaery of being "ridiculous" for her use of the word "vicitimize".) and then go on to discuss
victimization in
SL
.

 

 

My error.  Apologies Rosemary. 

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04-17-201211:30 AM


Madelaine McMasters wrote:

You highlight Rosemaery's statement about
victimization in
RL
(and later laughingly accuse Rosemaery of being "ridiculous" for her use of the word "vicitimize".) and then go on to discuss
victimization in
SL
.

 

My error.  Apologies Rosemary.

--------------------------------

What often happens here is that people make some very fast and loose comparisons about SL to RL.  I know SL is "immersive" but prospective must be maintained........Second Life is not real life.  Hasn't ever been, and never will be.  It also was not designed to replace real life.  Some people seem to get that mixed up.  Rape cannot happen in SL........the depiction of rape can be happen and that is, in opinion, offensive.  But it's also offensive to me when I clashing colors on men's clothing.........that happens a lot in SL.  Keep it in perspective and be mature about what SL is (and what SL is not)

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

 

Please Pudgy, for your own good,
either recuse yourself from arguments of substance or take the time to read and understand the things upon which you comment.

Proportion, absent comprehension... is nothing.

For my own good do you mean I will not be liked on the forum?  I will not be permitted to the claque?  

Please Madelaine, for the good of the community, either stop telling people how to post and to what topics to post or take a time out yourself. 

If I err in a post - point it out, but DO NOT dictate what I should write or to whom I should write. 

Comprehension, absent proportion... is nothing. 

 

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Ceera Murakami wrote:

You can
never
be certain that the other person is representing their real life self on-line. Never.


 

Well, that's not true. 

The man I'm close to in SL, is a RL man, and I know this, because he does not keep his SL identify separate from RL.   Since I know who he is in RL, I also know who he is in SL.

But, I also understand, that this is not normally the case.

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Valenica wrote:

I am a female was partner to what I thought was a female, in game. Come to find out she is a he in real life, what can be done about this? I have note card and a confession from him that he plays female to have sex with females in game. My friends told me that it is called rape (unwilling)

More than one issue going on here. If you were cybering with an unseen person you don't know anything about them. They could be any age, race, shape, size, or gender. They could be sane. They could be insane. You just don't know.

There are a lot of manipulative sociopaths online. There are a lot of pent up horny guys online. It's a tired joke that 99% of the "lesbians" in Second Life are probably male. I would think the odds are at least 50/50.

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I am SO over. All of that was past me. I is too old. The thing I thought was so funny about Portland when I went there was that all those guys working at the place I was visiting on field service trips were heavily bearded and wearing plaid flannel coats, like they were loggers or something. They were actually a bunch of pasty-faced engineers.

All of that faded into insignificance when finally—after three visits—I left there with clear skies and watched the colors of the sunset paint Mount Hood as we gained altitude.

I know none of this has anything whatever to do with this thread or your comment but thank you for pulling all that back in my mind.

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the only thing bad that happened was him telling you. And you can't even know if it is actually true. It might well be a woman messing with your mind by telling you she's a man playing a woman to lure women into lesbian sex.
Some of those women may themselves be men trying to do the same thing. Or they may be transsexuals (women stuck in a male body in this case) using sl to be what their rl bodies deny them.

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jwenting wrote:

the only thing bad that happened was him telling you.
And you can't even know if it is actually true. It might well be a woman messing with your mind by telling you she's a man playing a woman to lure women into lesbian sex.

Some of those women may themselves be men trying to do the same thing. Or they may be transsexuals (women stuck in a male body in this case) using sl to be what their rl bodies deny them.

Couldn't agree more, jwenting :)

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Lying to people who ask you what you are in real life is wrong. But yea lots will lie cause they are getting something out of the lying.

Good clues a female in second life is really a man in real life.

#1 States they are lesbian in profile and will only date women.

#2. Has a sexy name like: Sexybabe, lacenstuff, boodacioustatas etc

#3 Has a male name like: Thomasracer, racecars, mikendakken etc

#4 Is way into sex and trys to seduce you within the first 24 hours of meeting you

#5 Dresses very slutty or half nakid

#6. Refuses to talk on voice

My guess is about 90% of "lesbians" in second life are men in real life.

 

Watch out for real life women playing male avatars as well and dating and marrying women. Lots of those too. Oh and rl gay men rping females in sl... the list goes on and on lol.

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