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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

"Its none of your business to know what other people do with their personal settings."

 

It most certainly IS my business if that person claims to be a
friend
! If they want their online status setting to be none of my business....they are free to
leave
my friends list any time, and don't let the door hit their ass on the way out.

no it's not any of your business..it's not any of mine what my friends or contacts or whatever they are do..and if one of my friends ever thought it was thier business to hound me to the point of drama about my status..they would not only get kicked..it would be mute time for being too far up my bum lol

if you don't like them doing that then just boot them from it..thats the one right you do have in the situation..

that or just ask them before they do it next time..tell them it bugs you and maybe they won't do it anymore..

or maybe they will give you a good reason why they do it..and maybe you will be like..oh ok..well why didn't you say that in the first place? hehehe

or maybe not...not asking will just make things simmer and get worse though if it really is getting to you..

 

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

One of the true absurdities of all this nonsense is the number of times I have bumped into people who, according to their status, were not online.

 

You know the funny part of that is there has been and will always be errors in online status (presence issues constantly). Servers fail and  constantyl Sl fails to report properly. (I have seen my wife offline and have seen her show as online when she clearly wasnt and visa versa) and yer gonna use that as a reason to defriend somone? lol..

Maybe you should take a different approach and ask your self why it would be such a concerning issue that a user may wish for privacy from you. Could it be you may be doing something wrong with friendships?

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Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the right of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this.  If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either.

You and people like you are precisely the reason that I am glad the flag was removed.  You believe no one that is your "friend" has a right to any privacy once in a while.  If I were on your list and you dropped me just because I preferred to have some private time and this offended you to the point that your drop me, your doing me a favor.  I don't need friends that are drama queens and so nosy that can't respect boundaries.  I am betting that may be the real reason that people take themselves off line to you and why you  'bump' into them.  They just don't want to deal with your nosiness and lack of respect.

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

Just downloaded the latest viewer.......and I notice something that has been there for years is missing. Friends list, in addition to allowing one to check the flag to show online status, always used to show the status of that same flag for the friend themselves.

In other words, if a friend had uncheked your ability to see when they were online, you would
know
they had done so.  The flag indicator for this no longer exists in recent viewer updates.

To my mind this is 'privacy' gone nuts. It strikes me as crazy that one can be broadcasting one's own online status to 'friends' who have no intention of reciprocating.......
and no longer even be aware that they are not reciprocating
!

 

There are some really nice guys who as soon as you log in want to talk to you, and that is really sweet. Sometimes though, a girl just needs to log in and try on some clothes for a while without having to chat. That is one way the hide online status works. 

Oh yes, you could just say, sorry dear, I am kinda busy at the moment, well, yes you could and that would be a friendly thing to do, but then it may turn into, ok well, let me know when you're not busy, or oh yes, what are you doing, or oh that's too bad I am at a wonderful location etc. So for one person you have just lost maybe 2 to 10 minutes of time. If you have say, five friendly friends, you may spend up to an hour just being friendly and telling everyone you are busy.

Why not just set yourself to busy mode you ask? Well, that is a good question. I don't because I don't want to lose stuff that comes in.

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I don't remember that ever being a feature. As a manager back in the day I remember having to check online status on profiles to see if models were skipping out on work, etc.

There was no indication to me either in local chat or next to their name anywhere that they were hiding their status.

If it had been a feature though, and I just didn't notice sometime in between then and now, it still makes sense that they would remove it. Even if it is a rude behavior, it is that user's business if they want to hide their status from you. That's why they fixed the "real online" status from showing on profiles. It makes sense that they would not want you to know they are hiding their status.

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There are a ton of reasons why someone would hide their status, and many of them have nothing to do with how good of a friend they are. Heck, obsessing over someone who might be hiding their status really doesn't seem much better, IMO.

Personally, I will just ignore if I can't talk. I won't put on a busy status though because I still need to get notices. Maybe it is more polite to hide the status though, than to ignore IM's.

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the
right
of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this.  If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either.

You and people like you are precisely the reason that I am glad the flag was removed.  You believe no one that is your "friend" has a right to any privacy once in a while.  If I were on your list and you dropped me just because I preferred to have some private time and this offended you to the point that your drop me, your doing me a favor.  I don't need friends that are drama queens and so nosy that can't respect boundaries.  I am betting that may be the real reason that people take themselves off line to you and why you  'bump' into them.  They just don't want to deal with your nosiness and lack of respect.

I'd say this reply is dead-on accurate, and I couldn't agree more.

I have a friend on my friends list who's had her online status hidden to me for years. Big deal. I know she still logs in, and if I should need something or want to talk I know she'd be right there at her next opportunity. See, as a friend I don't have the right to insist she be available at the snap of MY fingers, because it's her SL too, and I'm not so thin as to let an online status box determine my relationships for me. There's a real reason she's on that list, and it's not because I can see when she logs in & out. If anybody defriends someone else because they had their online status hidden, then the person doing the defriending has devalued the friendship to be worth less than their own selfish motivations by putting so much worth on having that hidden status checkbox checked. It is these people who are guilty of not acting like friends, and the very first defense for their one-sided behavior is to try to turn things around to make it look like the other persons fault. I'm so very glad LL forced the removal of that checkbox, and I can't wait until they stamp out all the other online status workarounds as well. It's about d@mn time!

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Rosemaery Lorefield wrote:

Shocking!

What is it about online media that makes people expect to be able to connect with you any time
they
see fit?

Too many people are hooked on getting minute by minute updates to mostly trivial things on the social sites, and that bad habit is what breeds this kind of selfish idiocy in SL. "The one-click generation" I call them.. I want what I want, when I want it.

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Well that explains why I do not understand it :) Not a fan of the play by play status updates or any of that!

Would any of these people expect to show up at my home whenever it pleased them, and demand my attention? Heck no. 

Would they call me on the phone and expect the same? Not if they don't want their number blocked.

Same goes for any method that I choose to communicate with....Heck, even my boyfriend isn't allowed to get all pissy or call out the search teams when I haven't texted him back in "awhile" lol. If I want my own time, I will have it, even if it sends someone into an insecure hissy fit :)

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Qwalyphi Korpov wrote:


PudgyPaddy wrote:

I have no friends so I never have to worry whether I set their status flags properly.  They are set perfect for me. 

I think you're on to something there Pudgy.  The no friends solution.  Hopefully the Lindens will implement it soon.   After all - why do we need friends when we have followers?  Follow me?

Exactly.  Like a squirrel, if I forget where my nuts are someone will remind me.  An dats da truth.

 

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"Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the right of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this. If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either."

 

The idea that this all has anything to do with 'privacy' is frankly quite comical. Real world laws relating to privacy, which Lindens must follow, all have to do with real world details.............such things as age, sex, location, etc......one's real life details. Those are private things that a person has every right to expect privacy for.

What on Earth has that genuine RL privacy got to do with whether one is online in some glorified 3D chat room ??

No...we are not simply talking about whether a person is busy or not. There is already a 'busy' flag. We are talking about someone being able to wander round a virtual world.....in public places where anyone can see they are there......whist at the same time pretending to the world that they are not even online !

That is the RL equivalent of someone pretending they are not on planet Earth !  Frankly......whoever thought up this ludicrous and farcical ability probably isn't.

 

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"There are some really nice guys who as soon as you log in want to talk to you, and that is really sweet. Sometimes though, a girl just needs to log in and try on some clothes for a while without having to chat. That is one way the hide online status works. "

 

It is not necessary to completely HIDE online status to achieve that. All it requires is that one can switch off the automatic broadcasting of it to others.....but still allow it to  be shown to anyone who searches. That will tell you whether the guy really is nice and sweet and always has you in mind......or if he's just some opportunistic vulture who sees 'xxxx is online' and pounces.

 

 

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

"There are some really nice guys who as soon as you log in want to talk to you, and that is really sweet. Sometimes though, a girl just needs to log in and try on some clothes for a while without having to chat. That is one way the hide online status works. "

 

It is not necessary to completely HIDE online status to achieve that. All it requires is that one can switch off the automatic
broadcasting
of it to others.....but still allow it to  be shown to anyone who searches. That will tell you whether the guy really is nice and sweet and always has you in mind......or if he's just some opportunistic vulture who sees 'xxxx is online' and pounces.

 

 

That's the way it works now, isn't it?

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

"Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the
right
of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this. If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either."

 

The idea that this all has anything to do with 'privacy' is frankly quite
comical
. Real world laws relating to privacy, which Lindens must follow, all have to do with real world details.............such things as age, sex, location, etc......one's
real life
details. Those
are
private things that a person has every right to expect privacy for.

What on Earth has that genuine RL privacy got to do with whether one is online in some glorified 3D chat room ??

No...we are not simply talking about whether a person is
busy
or not. There is already a 'busy' flag. We are talking about someone being able to wander round a virtual world.....in public places where anyone can
see
they are there......
whist at the same time pretending to the world that they are not even online
!

That is the RL equivalent of someone pretending they are not on planet Earth !  Frankly......whoever thought up this ludicrous and farcical ability probably isn't.

 

you use laws when dealing with friends to tell them their rights they have in a friendship??

just wow..

here is the definition of privacy..you can respect your friends  or disrespect them..thats all it comes down to..

pri·va·cy  

n.
1.
a. The quality or condition of being secluded from the presence or view of others.
b. The state of being free from unsanctioned intrusion: a person's right to privacy.
2. The state of being concealed; secrecy.
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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

Just downloaded the latest viewer.......and I notice something that has been there for years is missing. Friends list, in addition to allowing one to check the flag to show online status, always used to show the status of that same flag for the friend themselves.

In other words, if a friend had uncheked your ability to see when they were online, you would
know
they had done so.  The flag indicator for this no longer exists in recent viewer updates.

To my mind this is 'privacy' gone nuts. It strikes me as crazy that one can be broadcasting one's own online status to 'friends' who have no intention of reciprocating.......
and no longer even be aware that they are not reciprocating
!

 

It would probably be healthier for you not to rely on your inworld friend list, and just send a message to someone if you would prefer their company just to test if they are available, and accept that some people do require a lot of own-time, and not take it so personally.

LL are having to take extra steps to ensure privacy, because internet laws are tightening up, and on this, they obviously feel they need to be one step ahead before things are enforced. 





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<<That is the RL equivalent of someone pretending they are not on planet Earth>>

Well, that would be the right of anyone in RL too. I think you are getting way too worked up and frenzied over this. If you can't tell who's your friend by spying on their online status anymore, try something more traditional like- do they talk to you? Can you honestly say that they view you as a friend? If no, there's your answer, defriend.

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

"Its none of your business to know what other people do with their personal settings."

 

It most certainly IS my business if that person claims to be a
friend
! If they want their online status setting to be none of my business....they are free to
leave
my friends list any time, and don't let the door hit their ass on the way out.

You have NO BUSINESS and NO RIGHT to have control over ANYONE.

That right belongs to no one but an individual themselves.

LLs has told people like you to butt out and stop invading other's privacy. I suggest you consider listening and find some other venue to be a dominance-freak.

 

This would be akin to saying you have a right to know where your RL friends are, right now. Or say... at 3am.

Thing is - you don't. No one has that right.

 

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

"Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the
right
of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this. If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either."

 

The idea that this all has anything to do with 'privacy' is frankly quite
comical
. Real world laws relating to privacy, which Lindens must follow, all have to do with real world details.............such things as age, sex, location, etc......one's
real life
details. Those
are
private things that a person has every right to expect privacy for.

What on Earth has that genuine RL privacy got to do with whether one is online in some glorified 3D chat room ??

No...we are not simply talking about whether a person is
busy
or not. There is already a 'busy' flag. We are talking about someone being able to wander round a virtual world.....in public places where anyone can
see
they are there......
whist at the same time pretending to the world that they are not even online
!

That is the RL equivalent of someone pretending they are not on planet Earth !  Frankly......whoever thought up this ludicrous and farcical ability probably isn't.

 

When your 'busy' you can't receive notices or things people send  you.  You can't receive things while out shopping.  When you are busy, you are busy to everyone.

No one is
"pretending to t
he world
that they are not even online" .
You can pick and choose who will see you on line or not,  So if someone is off line to you, they are hiding from only you and people they also choose to hide from.   I can see why too. People have a right to privacy no matter where they are, RL or SL as well as the right to associate with who they want to when they want to and it is none of your business when that doesn't include you.

Luckily, the only opinions that count in SL on this matter is LL's.  Thankfully they agree with the majority here.

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Verena Vuckovic wrote:

That is the RL equivalent of someone pretending they are not on planet Earth !  Frankly......whoever thought up this ludicrous and farcical ability probably isn't.

 

Actually it's more the rl equivalent of simply not answering your phone, or your door, because you just don't want to.

But that sort of reply kinda gives us a glimpse into exactly why some folks might want to "hide" from others, even if not truly busy.

I'd hide from people that treated me like a possession, as if they have a right to know where I am at all times, too. If I didn't "need" to have them on my contacts list, I'd simply remove them-for that alone. But then not everyone on my friends list is a close friend. Some are merely contacts. Though I do have close friends on it too. I can't imagine any of them getting butthurt at the fact that, occasionally, I am "offline" to them, even if I am actually not. They also don't care what my reason(s) might happen to be. That is a sign of a good friend, imo. Them needing to know where I am all the time.. nah, that's a bit too busybody for my liking and a bit too controlling. My friends are, also, occasionally offline to me, and others. I don't take it as some personal jab or something.  I don't own them, they don't own me, we don't spend 24/7 together either, so why the need to know where each other is at all times?

Yeah I don't get it, I guess, lol. It just screams needy. While I may be a tad obsessive about some things, compulsive even about others, that one-being uber needy-is something I let go of long ago. Even my own children know the importance of having your own space when you need it ;)

 

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my IM i use like my phone. if i am busy then i just dont answer it. other person can leave a message if they like. same with IM and PM online. when i get not busy then i answer. unless is some random person who just says hi and thats all. i not bother with those ones

+

people sometimes defriend me bc i dont answer their IM. oh! well. my phone does not decide who my friends are. my IM box either. is a bit weird when people let their lives be dictated by the names on their phone contact list and whichever of those names answers their phonecalls

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