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Staralien

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  1. This is so sad. I agree with Phil and Darius. I really feel for that poor man. I hope he doesn't end up needing therapy. In that case, you should consider paying for it. Deception is never OK, no matter what it may be. If you are going to RP, in my opinion, you should have been up front about it. There are enough people in SL that would be OK with it, so you could have easily moved on to another when realizing this poor gentleman wasn't.
  2. Faye Feldragonne wrote: Thanks for thus thoughtful response. I really connected with it. I have one new friend, but I'm not good anymore at making friends. Before I became a merchant Ifound friends easier, but after years of being a merchant and holed up in a Sky box working, I've changed. . I have been really hurt by girlfriends in Second life. And one partner. I'm afraid to put myself out there. You gave me a lot to think about. I understand as I tend to get so involved in my own creative process. Fortunately, I do have several friends that insist on chatting with me or spending time doing stuff with them to drag me away. I may sometimes feel a little annoyed because well...I want to finish what I am working on! Hahah! But it always is exactly what I need to make sure my friendships stay strong and remind me of why I fell in love with SL in the first place. I too have had some bad luck with people. It is disappointing to learn someone isn't who you think they are going to be when you start getting to know them. But the same thing can happen in the real world. You just have to pick yourself up, dry the tears and move on and never give up on people. You have to try to trust someone enough to form a friendship and hope it works out and if it does, you may have one of the most amazing friends you otherwise would have never known. That is worth the risk, that is worth everything! Communication through the written word can be so difficult for some of us. I certainly have had my own difficulties with it and have been misunderstood. But you have to try and do the best you can in SL and hopefully the person you are trying to be friends with gets you and understands and they turn out to be a wonderful person. As hard as it may be, I really hope that you can make some friends that are truly there for you and loyal and trustworthy. You just have to be willling to take the risk. There are good women and good men in SL. I know because some of them are MY friends. You will find them. I am sure of it!
  3. I too got burned out. I used to have a very successful rental business I ran for about 3 years. Then I had a heart attack and it became increasingly difficult to log on and be faced with problems or people wanting two hour tours and all the other things that come with running a business. I had to bow out for my own health and healing. I did continue with my furniture store that I had for free on a dear friend's sim and still have today, as well as the Market Place. That didn't require constant babysitting. As I got stronger, I started logging in more and because it is my nature, I really concentrated on my furniture store for awhile. I started creating more and doing hunts, reconnecting with all of my friends, made new ones, etc. Seems like I was always busy again. Then a friend dragged me off to another grid with the promise of free land, and once I checked it out, I fell totally in love with having a whole region I didn't have to pay for to create a fantasy land based on a book I wrote and being able to use my avatar to visit other grids. I love hyperjumping to other worlds and exploring. I also love that in that world, the owner became my friend and encourages all of us there to be friends and support each other in our creativity in developing our fantasies on the land he gives us. But I still love SL so I can't ever really leave it. I keep an apartment and still have my store, but most important are all of my dear friends. I have spent a lot of money on my avatar making her far more beautiful than I ever was in RL and I love the fashion and the clothes. I prefer classy, sophisticated attire. She is me or who I want to be, perhaps. Since Jan 1 this year, I have been in the hospital 3 times 4-5 days at a time each visit. I had my gallbladder removed 3 weeks ago, day surgery, not because of stones, but because of a disease brought on by stress. One of the stays, they did a hydrascan to look at the gallbladder and discovered I have two small anerisms in my spleen that they have decided to look at again in 6 months to see if they grow. They also discoved a tumor in my spine..about inline with my belly button. I see a neurosurgeon in mid March for that to see what needs to happen. It is ironic that since my heart attack two years ago, I have felt better and felt healthier than I have in years until now. I do have high BP and Diabetes, but they are well controlled. Well the BP is now, after they added 2 more meds. So I can relate to having chronic illness. The most important thing for you is to take care of YOU. You obviously love SL, but maybe like others have said, you should take a break from creating for awhile, and instead, connect with others, make new friends, let them support you and be there for you with all you are going through. I know I certainly need a lot of support right now. I am scared to death and I imagine you are too with your own illness. I hope you can get better and be healthy again or at least manage it enough to feel better than you do now. One thing that is certain, we all need love and the human connection to others that can understand and love us through all of our strengths as well as our shortcomings. But when we are sick, that is when we need it the most. Best of luck and healing energy to you!
  4. Well I was excited about it. SL on my tablet? Oh YEAH!! I almost always use my tablet when I am away from home rather than my lap top and being able to access SL with it would be wonderful! But the pricing , a little too steep for my budget so not likely to ever use it. Doesn't cost me anything to just take a laptop along on out of town visits and as far as local excursions, I guess I will just continue using my tablet for the things I currently use it for. I wonder just how successful it will be since to use it, you have to pay for it.
  5. This happened to me before and somehow, the settings had gotten changed. I just had to reset the water back to default (or any other setting you want) and it should solve the problem. Well eventually anyway. It took several times for it to finally take for me. :matte-motes-grin:
  6. The first time I discovered SL was in 2007 and I probably stayed all of ten minutes as I felt very overwhelmed and had no idea what to do or where to go. In 2011 a FB friend had a post about SL so I clicked on it not realizing it was the same thing as in 2007. This time, things just seemed to click for me a little better and somehow I landed at a karoke lounge. By this time I was all of two days old, but still in newbie skin...but I had managed to pick up a lovely dress. Unfortuately, I still walked like a duck whcih must have given me away to the owner as he IM'd me and helped me tremendously by mentoring me. He told me first before we did anything else to go and download Phoenix as he said most people used that and it would be easier for me to use.So I trusted him and downloaded and installed it and logged back on. He then showed me all the bells and whistles, how to adjust settings, etc. He advised me not to accept friendship from everyone who sends an invite as so many guys only wanted one thing. I had already accepted a dozen or so requests for friendship from men and women who never even talked to me cause I thought I would be rude to do otherwise. I was so naive, but thanks to him, I was put on the fast track of learning. He also gave me a 100L cause he said everyone should have money in their pocket. He is still my friend today, though most times we are too busy to chat much. My second real friend was a guy I met in a sandbox the next day when I was opening some boxes I had picked up for free. He is the one who really helped transform my avi as he took me where I could get a decent free AO and skin, as well as clothes. He also taught me how to build. When I got my first parcel, he helped me get it set up and built my first apartment building. He was/is such a good friend. Now I try to help new people and have the opportunity to do so quite often. I know what it is like to be new and confused! ;-) What SL has really done for me though...is give me a life beyond these walls of the real world. I have a lot of health problems, including a heart attack this past Oct that got me 3 stents placed in my heart. I am much better now, but it has been a slow recvovery. The last several years have been hard as I have bad legs and have had bypass surgery on both, as well as a couple of stents in the right one. In SL I can dance like I never will be able to in RL. I can run. I can walk without pain, I can even fly. It also gives me the opportunity to talk to people sometimes. Being isolated so much has made me socially awkward, but with practice, I think I have gotten better at it. I hope so anyway. For someone that is homebound much of the time and doesn't see people much, SL is like a lifeline and helps one not feel so alone. I really hope this new guy can breathe some new life into SL and really come to understand what SL is to so many of us. It isn't a game, but an extention to our lives, a world we can do anything or be anything we want. Where the limitations of the real world has no place.Where we can floursh and thrive as big as our dreams, build amazing places and create wonderous things that are only limited by our imaginations. Long live Second Life and all of its people!.
  7. Welcome to Second Life! Yes, there is a huge learning curve to overcome before you get really comfortable with your avatar and moving about. Practice makes perfect and give yourself plenty of time. As for art, I suggest you explore galleries and museums as the art community is quite large and active in Second Life. It would be a good idea to see what others are doing and what is possible to do. You can put in key words in the search to find art galleries and current exhibits. Gallery openings are a good place to meet other artists, curators, and others interested in art. They usually advertise in groups, so be sure and join as many art groups as you can. To show your work, most curators will want to see a portfolio and a lot will only show certain styles, or only art made in Second Life, or real life, or whatever criteria they have decided is right for their gallery. Visiting various galleries can help give you a feel for the type of art they prefer to show. You can always open your own gallery as well, but getting it off the ground and having people actually visit it can be a challenge. Joining groups can help with that and hopefully you can make art friends willing to help you. Having your own art gallery can be a lot of fun and give you a place to show your work. Good luck to you! I hope you have the greatest success no matter where your path leads!
  8. Just like in real life, you have to pay monthly (or weekly) payments to someone. You can buy land through Linden Lab or a private seller, but you still have to pay monthly fees. There just isn't any way around it. No matter where the home is, it still takes up space on the Lnden Lab servers, and someone has to pay. You can pay them directly or you can pay someone else for the use of their home or land and THEY have to pay Linden lab the tier fees. The only way you will ever have a home in Second life is to pay for it and keep paying for it as long as you have the home/land. It is possible you could have a friend who may give you free rent or free space, but they have to pay for it themselves and would be a very good friend to you in deed! Now if you want affordable housing, I do own rental property with some of the best rates in SL, but I do require payment weekly/biweekly/monthly. You can find me in search: Melody Star Paradise Village. Even if you don't rent, feel free to stop by for a visit and enjoy the amenteties. Good luck to you! Star
  9. iCade wrote: Prices are fantastic, costumer service is fantastic, and it's complete outfits with everything being in world as it is on their vendors. I love that store The prices ARE fantastic and worth it just to get the purses, shoes, and accessories! Thanks for sharing.
  10. I have been working on my avatar since the beginning. There is always better stuff coming out and as designers get more experience, their designs get better as well. I have been in SL for 2 years and recently gave myself a new makeover and purchased a new skin/shape, hair and wardrobe. I really love mesh, so pretty much everything about my avatar is mesh these days. I prefer a sophisticated and stylish look, so I am always looking for good designs in clothing, shoes, and accessories. Accessories are important in pulling a look together, and recently I have been an avid purse/bag hunter to complete my outfits. A good AO is important as well. I had free ones at first, including one that came with the first skin I bought. I finally bought a good one from Vista Animations about a year ago after spending a couple of months looking at them and trying demos. The AO I had before that moved around too much and I was always running into people, as I never stood still. The Vista AO doesn't move around a lot (while standing), which was what I was looking for. A lot of the designers have good group gifts, so I suggest you join groups and take advantage of that. Hush Skins gives away skins all the time, so be sure and check them out. Truth gives away hair sometimes to members. There are so many, it is best just to get out there and explore. Your avatar represents you, and no matter how long it takes, in reality, you will always be working on it. Have fun with it and don't worry about how much time you spend on it. After all, perfection never comes over night! :matte-motes-smile:
  11. I had a simillar issue a few months back. My avatar was stuck at my home and could not TP anywhere. Most times when I would try, I would even crash. My contact lists for friends and groups was blank. Even someone IMing me didn't work, and I could not IM anyone since I had no friends list to pick anyone. I couldn't send a note card either. It was like I was alone in SL. On top of that, my avatar was messed up. I was wearing two hairs, outfits, shoes. I could walk around my own home, but that was all I could do. I tried different viewers, and it was the same in each. I re-installed, and that didn't work either. I cleared cache, the same. I created an alt and everything was fine for the alt. At this point I knew it had to be my account and contacted LL. I had to use the official viewer before they would help me and they pretty much had me do everything i had already done. I sent them screen shots of my messed up avi. I finally convinced them it was not my computer or my Internet since the alt worked just fine. It took them three days and a lot of communication between us, but it was finally fixed. it sounds to me that you are going to have to ask for help as well. Just be sure to use the official viewer and make sure the same things are happening with it. They will only give support to their own...even if it is really an account issue rather than a viewer issue. Good Luck! I hope my post helps.
  12. Hobo Amusement Park is fun and free. There are tons of rides and other wierd and crazy things to do. The owner is always building new things too. There are donation objects scattered about if you feel so inclined to donate, but it isn't required. I always try to donate though as the entertainment is so worth it. It is always more fun to go with friends. Be sure and check out the scuba diving and the spaceport while you are there. Have fun!
  13. Madelaine McMasters wrote: Trinity Yazimoto wrote: Madelaine McMasters wrote: I don't think I've ever claimed in this thread that one can be mind raped in SL. As I said, nothing here comes close. But I am allowing for a future in which significant harm can be delivered virtually. To proclaim that it can't ever happen is, I think, dangerous. The ethics of such futures are already being discussed. Evidence suggests that a single administration of psilocybin can have life-long effects. There is also growing evidence that virtual experiences can have effects similar to hallucinogenic drugs, as both can present surreal experiences that our brains attempt to resolve by rewiring neural pathways. Rape is one of many potentially life changing events and is not the only physchological trauma that can result in the plethora of damning consequences you've described. I'm sure we'll have new words to describe the sorts of psychological harm that may be inflicted on us in the future in ways we've not yet imagined. I'd rather we start thinking about that now, and we are. I don't believe technology will get us to the point I'm describing anytime soon, and I believe the ethical issues will be addressed along the way... but that's just a belief. Maddy, there are already, without any technology help, tons of mind harms possible... i hear you, but for me this exist already without any technology . And some are indeed extrem pain too. Of course, technology will add some more.. i dont have any doubt about this.. and even, it has already started... but as you said, these harms have different words to describe them... rape is not one of them.. i just reacted on the use of the word "rape" bec words are not innocent and using them without the right purpose can be dangerous. And i will always fight aggainst this kind of banalization. I get that, Trin. I thought I was being careful to say that I didn't think rape was possible in SL, but that there's reason to be wary about the use of technology to cause psychological harm in the future. I didn't see Staralien's OP as demeaning rape, but rather as opening up a discussion of how, as technology gets closer to our brains, it presents a challenge for us to manage. Thank you. I never intended harm and I really had no idea that so much drama would be created from my post. I knew there would be varying opinions, but I had no idea that there would be so many people that would take it so personal and attack me personally. I have been reading alot about technology and what is coming, etc. and it just got me to thinking about crime and stuff and to me, one of the worst crimes is rape. It can be worse than death as the victim is left to live with the trauma for years to come. I by no means intended to hurt anyone by wanting to discuss such a topic as I thought we could have an intelligent discussion about a topic that though it is horrific, has the potential to possibly become a reality one day. I had no idea that I would be called a troll or other names or accused of causing drama. I don't even know why I bother to post in these forums as there seems to be certain individuals who think they are the only ones with valid opinions and seem to attack those they don't agree with. Or, seem to misread everything I do post. As for me not coming back right away, I don't hang out on this forum all day and have other things I have to do. I generally will look over the forums with morning coffee. I have tried to be a part of this community, but frankly, I am tired of certain individuals that seem to come around in packs to attack everything I say and totally mis-read what I post. I won't say anything more on this topic as anything I do say, seems to be misconstrued and having any sort of conversation here is impossible. Perhaps a moderator will consider removing this thread from the forum since it apears to be so bothersome. Again, I truly meant no harm. I realize that no matter what I say, some people will read what they want, and understand nothing.
  14. Madelaine McMasters wrote: Ceka Cianci wrote: i just can't see it as possible at all to recreate something so tramatic and violent and invasive and soul leeching.. just leaving you dead inside and out.. i can't see a cybor rape leading daymares and nightmares and to years of therapy.. i just cannot grasp it being possible.. A few years ago, I wouldn't have believed that you could deliver a spiritual epiphany in a pill... a single pill. But there is mounting evidence that psilocybin (the active psychotropic ingredient in magic mushrooms) can have that effect. We're learning which neurotransmitters and modulators are responsible for feelings of sexual attraction and personal attachment and therapies are being imagined to treat abused people for their addiction to their abusers. Can we imagine a future in which drugs might be used to rapidly create attraction and attachment where it would not normally occur, allowing abusive people to quickly render their victims "unwilling" to protest their abuse? It might be impossible to detect that's been done if the chemicals occur naturally in the brain, and if they can jump-start processes (like love) that the brain will continue on its own after the initial administration. One dose of psilocybin appears to have life long effects. Meanwhile, people find themselves increasingly more vulnerable as they (often unwittingly) lose privacy to the internet. As a result, I think we'll see new forms of coercion. As for the cyber, and eventually cyborg aspects of this discussion, if you believe in Ray Kurzweil's end game of the merger of man and machine, then it may someday become impossible to separate real and virtual experiences, which might occur simultaneously. My technical journals are filled with articles predicting the embedding of digital sensory and cognitive aids in the not too distant future. If and when this occurs, we'll be facing some ethical issues as the owners of these implanted devices may not be able to avoid the influence of devices which may not be entirely secure. I also think that the descriptions of RL rape I've read here cover only a fraction of actual rapes. Rape needn't be physically violent and doesn't require immediate objection by the victim. A substantial number of rapes are committed against victims in altered states induced by drugs and/or alcohol, who were not aware of the rape until after the fact. There are a great many rape victims who do not require therapy, do not feel dead after the fact and do not feel as if their souls have been leached. They have been raped nonetheless. I certainly understand the concerns people feel about comparing SL experiences to RL rape, but as I look towards the future, I think it's prudent to consider the possibility that we'll be able to induce significant mental and emotional harm in ways that we currently "cannot grasp being possible". Thank you for your thoughtful discussion of this topic and your valuable insight. I thank everyone else who has responded as well. I in no way intended offense or wished to diminish the reality of the pain and trauma of RL rape. I myself have been a victim of such a crime, so there is no way I would wish to add trauma to anyone else that has experienced it. I didn't offer my own opinion in my original post. I knew I would be opening up a hot topic, but I didn't think that people would take such great offense. For that I apologize. I only wanted to open a discussion based on what is happening with technology and the advances that are being made. Some may think these are stupid questions, but the reality is, technology is advancing beyond what we can even imagine. There will come a day in the future that we will be able to log onto our computers and communicate with our minds alone. We will be able to move about in virtual worlds using only our minds, not our fingers on a key board or mouse. As technology advances, our minds will become more and more immersed with machine until it may be impossible to distinguish where the human and machine are separate. When such technology happens, questions of virtual crimes may become relevant. Like it or not, there are some really bad people in the world and if they can think of a way to victimize others, well they will do so. Movies like The Matrix or Avatar seem like just fantasy, but a search of the Internet will bring you all kinds of results...fantasy is becoming reality. We may not see it in our life times...then again if you are only 20 something, you just may. When and IF technology advances to the point where we are able to control machines with our minds alone, then questions like these may very well become relevant indeed.
  15. Here's a can of worms I just opened: If your avatar is raped, (if such a thing were possible to do against your will) can you prosecute the person in real life? Should you be able to? Rape is a violent act, and in this case it would be basically raping someone's mind. Mind rape.
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