Lifestyles and Relationships

[Karera Millet Honored Resident]

hey, sl people out there

i have a very simple question, yet kinda hard to apply, 'so how do you actually deal with that kind of situation?'. i need your advices. thank you  

[Griffin Ceawlin Helper]

Be honest. Tell the other person that, while you had a lovely time, you're not looking to attach yourself to one person just yet.

Or you could always go with "It's not you, it's me."

[Karera Millet Honored Resident]

  actually, it's me the one who felt it..   im not a new player, but that kinda thing was new for me.. 

[Madelaine McMasters Advisor]

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Griffin Ceawlin wrote:

Be honest. 

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This.

If the person is new to SL (like I was when I fell head over heels for someone who returned the favor) it might be worth expressing a little understanding for our ability to fall down rabbit holes in SL, while gently suggesting the importance of keeping perspective (not that I take that advice myself, but I still give it).

 ETA: Karera, now that you've clarified, let me thank you for reminding me that one needn't be new to SL to be new to rabbit holes.

[Karera Millet Honored Resident]

yes, sorry i am an old player, but i've never ever been so intense playing (means playing almost everyday) sl like these few last days. i was an on and off player, and been off for so very long time, so when when i started playing again, i tried to tease this one guy, he bought me clothes, gave me hair and even linden dollar so i bought myself skins. we had a great night, i waited him to ol again, and when he came back, i think i had a misunderstanding?  im so confused that time, but maybe hey, this is sl, it's just didnt feel good 

[Griffin Ceawlin Helper]

Ah. Well. In that case... Understand that the other person may not feel the same way. If they do, good for you both. But if they don't... not much you can do, except... not push too hard. Keep it light. Wait and see if anything develops.

[Ceera Murakami Contributor]

After the fact, it's kind of tough to resolve, unless the other person happens to be open to RL romance. Best bet would be to talk to them, and if in fact they simply are not going to return your emotional attachment, accept it as a mistake, and move on.

Better is to make sure, before engaging in a possibly romantic encounter, that you and your partner both have similar desires and expectations. If you're open to forming a real emotional attachment to the person you're having the on-line encounter with, it is extremely necessary to make sure they feel the same way. Getting romantic with someone who only sees SL romances as "an on-screen shared entertainment", and who attaches and offers no real-life parity for that, can be heartbreaking for those who do see their on-line activities as an extension of their real emotional life.

I happen to be in the group that will never offer more than platonic friendship to the real person, no matter how hot and passionate the roleplay between our avatars gets. That's because in-world, I don't see my avatar as "Me". I see her as a fictional character that I write, just as George Lucas no doubt feels about his fictional character, "Princess Leia". The group of people who see their avatars as something separate and unique from their real-life self in SL is a large one. Those who don't feel that separation should steer clear of those who do, and should be especially careful who they get romantic with on-line.

[Karera Millet Honored Resident]

ah yes, you both are right, i should've never mixed between rl and sl. as i always believe also, both are two very different world from each other. i really should keep everything light, should've never and should never ever again let all sl moments deceive me.  some people are just wanna have fun in sl (im one of them) and they just happen to be nice. thank you, friends! 

[gr8 Honored Resident]

But do you really want some kind of emotional attachment or do you simply love when men spend money on you? Sorry, but seeing Escort Oasis in your groups, I just can't help asking this.

[Lanas Criss Member]

You'd mentioned a few days of 'intense playing' so I have to say make sure you get your sleep... nurse's orders!...being too tired makes you and the things you do very silly sometimes.

Your troubles also made me grin and think of this old song I used to hear at Grandma's house... "Thanks for the memories...la la laaaa.... and the gift L$s".  The gift L$s part isn't in the song of course, but I'm sure they made for better memories

Good luck with yourself and always remember that this too shall pass...

Lanas