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Mix Frequency
Posts: 31

What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

The question is here. What if your man you met in SL and brought it to RL is a sex fantasies addict? I don't stalk him or anything, I also left SL since we met but I've seen his groups and I don't know what to think about it? He did have empry profile and before we met in RL those groups were there, visible.

Is that normal? Should I've be pissed off or he i'm overreacting?

I mean when we met in SL for the first time we had a nice convo, then we both became also got so sexually attracted to each other, then we started to do stuff people do when they are into each other. Then we've met and we did have sex, i thought it was just going to be that kind of stuff, but then he switched his game, he told me he is so much into me and that he wants to date me oficially. I agreed because I fell or all his kidness and how he treated me after we had sex.

He told me like he is addicted to SL sex before as a joke, I don't have problems with it. But since he is my bf in RL I am a bit lost. I know I have him in RL and that SL shouldn't matter at all. 

Syo Emerald
Posts: 2,946
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Registered: ‎05-30-2011

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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Haha...you can't be addicted to sexual fantasies! Other way every straight man would be addicted of naked sexy women. As far as I know the DSMI and the ICD don't list sexual fantasies of this kind as a psychological case. Its human behavior.


Also I don't see whats your problem here. He lelft the groups for you, cleaned his profile...just for you. Most men wouldn't even put  their porn collection away for a woman. And still you can't live with the fact that he really had a turn on with Cybersex. But why? I guess he sleept with other real women in his life before you both met. Is that a problem for you too?

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Perrie Juran
Posts: 9,378
Registered: ‎10-16-2009

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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Mix Frequency wrote:

The question is here. What if your man you met in SL and brought it to RL is a sex fantasies addict? I don't stalk him or anything, I also left SL since we met but I've seen his groups and I don't know what to think about it? He did have empry profile and before we met in RL those groups were there, visible.

Is that normal? Should I've be pissed off or he i'm overreacting?

I mean when we met in SL for the first time we had a nice convo, then we both became also got so sexually attracted to each other, then we started to do stuff people do when they are into each other. Then we've met and we did have sex, i thought it was just going to be that kind of stuff, but then he switched his game, he told me he is so much into me and that he wants to date me oficially. I agreed because I fell or all his kidness and how he treated me after we had sex.

He told me like he is addicted to SL sex before as a joke, I don't have problems with it. But since he is my bf in RL I am a bit lost. I know I have him in RL and that SL shouldn't matter at all. 


You have to decide what works for you.  If you won't enjoy kneeling between his legs while he plays in SL, then it's probably not a good match for you.  You need to ask him what his expectations are.  And make sure he know what yours  are.

Honored Resident
Mix Frequency
Posts: 31

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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LOL, no no it was vice versa! When I've met him his profile was blank...Just before we've met in RL I've seen that those groups appeared!

No, nothing is problem for me, men can do whatever they want unless cheating with psychical contact, haha.

My problem is that those groups appeared jusr before we've met and I'm not some jelaous freak, but I've also notced he is being a lots of time online in SL. But also when we are apart we talk mostly on SL chat because sometimes all other ways of communications get stuck, SL is the most stable when we cant talk on phone, while we are both busy or something

Honored Resident
Mix Frequency
Posts: 31

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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Oh that definately, I will talk to him soon about some stuff. We don't date for ages, its kind of all semi fresh so we don't know each other well. 

I will tell him what I want, this is not the only thing that bothers me at the moment. I need to clear some things out with him and let him know exactly how I feel and what do I want. If he is so nuts about me, he will understand me and not thinking I'm some of a controll freak. And we will work this out, if not then I guess he isn't the one.

Bree Giffen
Posts: 1,071
Registered: ‎10-05-2009

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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So he became more addicted to SL after he met you in real life? Maybe, since he met you first as an avatar and was able to have sex with you in real life, he is thinking that this is how SL works all the time. So when he is having a fantasy with a different woman in SL, he might be imagining that he will soon have another real life encounter with someone else.

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Posts: 5,396
Registered: ‎05-21-2009

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

[ Edited ]

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I'm curious why you left SL. Were you here only to find someone and once you did you have no more use for it? Did he ask you too? (RED FLAG) 

If he enjoys the living out his sexual  fantasies in SL why not join him and participate?  If he is still in SL to meet up with other women or into stuff that is not your thing or even repulsive to you, maybe you should rethink if you two are really compatible.

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Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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Being "addicted to sexual fantasies" would fall under a broader category of  sexual addiction(s) , and may be a sign or symptom of another issue.  If really interested, do a little research on the subject  then contact a heathcare or mental healthcare  professional for more information on your specific situation.

 

Morgaine Christensen
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Posts: 759
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Registered: ‎08-18-2009

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

[ Edited ]

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I'm seeing a variety of things here:

1] Yet another argument as to why SL should not be used as a dating game.

2] A demanding woman who demands that her man stop whatever he's doing in order to give her more attention.

3] Someone who lacks sufficient imagination to enter into their partners fantasy / RP world.

 

My recommendation:


Neither of you will be happy in your current relationship. Break up with the man and marry someone from your local church. You will find their matching lack of imagination reassuring. Make sure that you sever all connection with the internet on your journey.

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Jasmyn Vaher
Posts: 155

Re: What if your RL and SL man is addicted of sexual fantasies in SL?

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IMO, this is not going to end well…not at all, because no matter what you try to convince yourself of or what he does or doesn’t. You aren’t feeling at ease with his behaviour...and right or wrong, it’s your prerogative. No one can judge it.

My advice? Don’t go further with him. Put an end to the relationship. And never ever again use SL as a dating site. Keep whatever happens in SL solely in SL, or otherwise, stay away from SL romances entirely

Yes; I know, quite a few people will disagree with my  radical opinion, but well, I cannot think otherwise… situations like the one you are experiencing do nothing but reassure me about my way of thinking.

“You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”

Homer Simpson