Thank you, Tari. That's one of the points I tried (and failed, apparently) to make.
A public display of affection on my part is considered a declaration of my sexuality (and a declaration of war on society).
A public display of affection by "normal" people (heterosexuals) is not.
There's a disconnect there.
Syo Emerald wrote:*sighs* Ok, read what you want....looks like its senseless to try to explain it again that I had no bad intention when I asked that question. Sorry that you had such a bad environment during your life, but that has nearly nothing to do with the things I was talking about.
You may not have had any bad intent, but what you've said is pretty insulting to a people that have been persecuted for merely wanting to be true to themselves. For far too long, homosexuals have been crapped on by large segments of society... so much so, that many feel they need to hide a part of themselves that, in part, makes them who they are.
Others feel that being obnoxiously vociferous about their sexuality is a way to draw the issue to light and, in some small way, do their part for the ones that feel they can't because of the treats against, not only their way of life, but their life itself.
For you to say they should just keep it to themselves, invokes the implication that we should all go back underground and live our lives in secret, instead of being able to express our sexuality as anyone else has the right to.
Think of it this way... if you lived in a society that was mostly made up of homosexuals, portions of which tell you that you are evil for not being homosexual as well, would you not feel compelled to stand up and pronounce, not only what you're sexuality is, but why you have the right to make that pronouncement so wholeheartedly?
...Dres
So, I can talk about my significant other with family and friends, but not with my co-workers or neighbors? (I'm not talking about sharing sexual exploits here; in my experience, one is more likely to hear about that hawt babe that the office stud picked up at the singles bar last Friday night than about the drag show at the local gay bar when standing around the water cooler...)
We also shouldn't organize ourselves into groups advocating for rights that everyone else has but that we're denied. Is that correct?
Syo Emerald wrote:From my point of view there is a difference between hiding and or simply telling everyone around about it. Hiding would be to pretend something. To not introduce someone you want to live with to your family for example or lie when friends ask directly. Thats what I would call hiding.
But simply not telling it neighbours, people at work or some random guy walking down the street is not hidding. I mean, someone who is straight but maybe has a favor for roleplaying a naugthy nurse wouldn't do that too.
I think its somehow the same with everything else that is not mainstream. There are always people who judge about someone by doing something, loving someone or something....well you can catch someons hate just by having the wrong hobbies or clothes.
Sexual preference only refers to the sex of someone a person finds attractive, not what they do with each other in bed. I wouldn't talk about my sexual practices with a random guy on the street, but I might mention my boyfriend, since he is such a big part of my life... by your way of thinking, I'd be flaunting my sexuality, right?
Yes, some gay people do speak of their sexual adventures in inappropriate situations, such as what you have outlined, but so do straight people... either way it has nothing to do with their sexual preference. Homosexuals do not have the market cornered on talking to complete strangers about sex acts... not by a long shot.
...Dres
I can think of a lot of things not considered social norms that get people crapped on. Not to make light of anything said here, and of course all situations are different. But I don't honestly believe someone stating they participate in something, are a certain way, believe a certain thing, or whatever other terminology needs to be used based on the scenario....as feeling as though they are more "special" and needing to show that. It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say without making light of what I know(not from personal experience, but from what I've seen and friends/family members have gone though) is a very delicate area, usually met with a great deal of ridicule, and I try my best to be mindful of the thoughts of others at all times.
No one should have to *not* tell people, simply because others will react in a manner less than savory. We shouldn't live our lives and dictate them based off the reactions we *might* get. I think people should be able to openly discuss whatever they want-again barring anything legal that would otherwise prevent them. If people don't like it, they can simply not listen. But no need to tell others they shouldn't declare, or discuss, or behave in a certain manner, simply because it's not a path your life has gone down.
No one is responsible for your reactions, thoughts or feelings...besides you. That's a responsibility we all have, for ourselves. We don't get to make choices for others. That includes what they can, and cannot do, and should and should not say, as well as when and where.(again, barring legal matters, of course...but that's rather irrelevant to the topic, since nothing we've discussed is illegal, lol)
Tari Landar wrote:I can think of a lot of things not considered social norms that get people crapped on. Not to make light of anything said here, and of course all situations are different. But I don't honestly believe someone stating they participate in something, are a certain way, believe a certain thing, or whatever other terminology needs to be used based on the scenario....as feeling as though they are more "special" and needing to show that. It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say without making light of what I know(not from personal experience, but from what I've seen and friends/family members have gone though) is a very delicate area, usually met with a great deal of ridicule, and I try my best to be mindful of the thoughts of others at all times.
No one should have to *not* tell people, simply because others will react in a manner less than savory. We shouldn't live our lives and dictate them based off the reactions we *might* get. I think people should be able to openly discuss whatever they want-again barring anything legal that would otherwise prevent them. If people don't like it, they can simply not listen. But no need to tell others they shouldn't declare, or discuss, or behave in a certain manner, simply because it's not a path your life has gone down.
No one is responsible for your reactions, thoughts or feelings...besides you. That's a responsibility we all have, for ourselves. We don't get to make choices for others. That includes what they can, and cannot do, and should and should not say, as well as when and where.(again, barring legal matters, of course...but that's rather irrelevant to the topic, since nothing we've discussed is illegal, lol)
I understand exactly what you're saying. I don't feel "special" because I'm gay and I certainly don't want any special treatment because of it. I find that a lot of times, straight people find it hard to understand that by stating I'm gay, in one way or another (considering that fact that I never just come out and say it, unless someone asks me directly), I'm not flaunting anything, I'm not trying to throw it in anyone's faces and I'm certainly not saying that I deserve any greater consideration than anyone else. I'm merely being true to who I am and being gay is part of what makes me me.
I sometimes talk about my significant other (who happens to be male) or how hot I think someone is (you know... like Alexander Skarsgård); I sometimes practice the art of innuendo which will usually be indicative of the sort of attractions I feel (meaning, toward other men); I may even, at times, talk about issues that are specific to a group of people with which I identify (in other words, gay)... but this is nothing that any other person wouldn't do in the course of their existence, no matter their sexual preference. I get a bit miffed when people accuse me of being overly vocal, when I'm not doing anything that any other straight person might do at any given time.
The mere suggestion that homosexual people, who flaunt their sexuality, should just STFU infuriates me... heterosexual people are always flaunting their sexuality, but you don't hear me saying they need to keep it to themselves.
...Dres
