Lifestyles and Relationships

[volunteervic]

A question at hand would be why would someone go out of their way to engage in such activity? 

I doubt very highly that any of us are ignorant of what goes on in RL and how sad and how sick it is.

I did a little looking at this stuff In World.  To quote from a profile of someone who is involved in this stuff:

"No sex play with or around kid avs. I'M CURRENTLY PLAYING AS A KID. THIS MEANS NO SEXPLAY WITH ME. I can and will do anything else with a kid av, within the kid av's limits, but I will not do anything sexual with or around a kid av. You'd be amazed at how cruel I can be without doing sex stuff."  (my bolding)

Why would someone choose to go there in their brain?  This persons profile sounds a bit deeper than someone 'just engaging in roleplay.'  It sounds like they are seeking it.  It sounds like they are getting their jollies from it.  Is that acceptable behavior to you?

To compare this to portrayals in movies or on television doesn't fly. 

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I think its important to remember that the quote Perrie Juran is giving did not come from my profile. Conclusions drawn from that quote may or may not be applicable to me.

[Perrie Juran Member]

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volunteervic wrote:

A question at hand would be why would someone go out of their way to engage in such activity? 

I doubt very highly that any of us are ignorant of what goes on in RL and how sad and how sick it is.

I did a little looking at this stuff In World.  To quote from a profile of someone who is involved in this stuff:

"No sex play with or around kid avs. I'M CURRENTLY PLAYING AS A KID. THIS MEANS NO SEXPLAY WITH ME. I can and will do anything else with a kid av, within the kid av's limits, but I will not do anything sexual with or around a kid av. You'd be amazed at how cruel I can be without doing sex stuff."  (my bolding)

Why would someone choose to go there in their brain?  This persons profile sounds a bit deeper than someone 'just engaging in roleplay.'  It sounds like they are seeking it.  It sounds like they are getting their jollies from it.  Is that acceptable behavior to you?

To compare this to portrayals in movies or on television doesn't fly. 

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I think its important to remember that the quote Perrie Juran is giving did not come from my profile. Conclusions drawn from that quote may or may not be applicable to me.

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You know, the only reason i haven't filed a JIRA yet is I have an equally strong aversion to censoring anyone's chosen lifestyle in SL, no matter how strongly I may feel about it.  There are people who object to all kinds of things in Second Life regardless of whether they are benign or malevolent.  There are clubs that don't allow Furries.  I've had girls refuse to dance with my Martian Avatar. I would not get intimate with a girl who has "rape me please" as one of her groups.  Many things of this sort. 

If you were just talking about RP as a child slave, I could accept this.  Your clan gets captured by another clan and now you are forced to scrub floors all day long.  I'd have no trouble with this.  But when you talk about your Avatar, " bleeding and bound on the floor" we have now crossed a line.

And while maybe this is just some goofy acting to you, but then as you said, it may not be, how would you feel if you knew that the person behind the Avatar that left you bound and bleeding ejaculated in their pants while they did that to you?

Either your naivety or your hypocrisy is showing here or the one other possibility, that you are finding catharsis for things you dealt with as a child, which would be the only acceptable reason to me.

eta to correct wrong word choice.  replaced 'except' with 'accept.'

[Betty Briand Honored Resident]

It is clear that he didn't quote your profile, not that your credit could sink any lower here lol..

But before this turns into serious mobbing, I think the community should stop right here.

Was rape in general against TOS yet? I can't remember .. if it was, or if you feel like it.. maybe a JIRA would be in order here too actually..

I would sign it, I am not sure how to start one though.

[volunteervic]

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

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volunteervic wrote:

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

You definitely need a picture.  One thing I noticed was that your 'about' profile section is ambiguous.  You mention all kinds of things you 'like' that most people associate with BDSM, but say No sexualized roleplay.  Some people may take that more as a challenge than anything.  I suggest you leave the no sex on the first page, and put a RP Limits tab in your picks that only says what you will NOT do.  It may not stop it completely,but it should make it rarer.  Of course I'd also AR anyone that solicited you if they can see your a child avi, as its against TOS.

Sometimes people are just weird.  I get random IM's like guys surfing people search that are much more direct and leave no doubt what they want, even though my profile is mostly all business and clearly states I'm taken   It always creeps me out.  Even if I were 'looking' it still would.

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I probably should have placed my no sexplay limit before my list of enjoyed activities. On my other accounts, I have separate Picks for limits and likes. I'll continue that practice in version 2 of my profile for this account. Also, as you suggest, I'll keep a mention of my limit against sexplay in my About section. As for a picture, I'll add one when my avatar's appearance becomes more settled. The profile that I have now was just something I put together quickly to get the account started and is not up to my usual standard.

When I read my list of likes as if I'm reading something someone else has written, I don't see an obvious BDSM association. I know that the listed activities are sometimes involved in BDSM but I also know that the very same activities occur in many nonBDSM contexts. Also, I don't regard BDSM as synonymous with sexplay. I know many people who play BDSM games choose to add a sexual component alongside their BDSM but it strikes me as irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person is into BDSM. It strikes me as even more irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person enjoys activities that are sometimes also enjoyed by BDSM players.

I also know that I don't think like most people think and this has caused me problems when trying to understand other people and when trying to be understood by other people. Other people often see meanings and intentions in my words and deeds they consider obvious but that don't exist. Meanings and intentions that do exist in my words and deeds often go unrecognized or misidentified by other people. To borrow a phrase from Temple Grandin,  I often feel like an "anthropologist from Mars".

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While all that you say is true, there is still an large number of people that will always associate enjoying these activities with sex and RL abuse and feel that  'enjoying' it is sick and repugnant, especially for a child avi.  Maybe 'enjoy' was a poor choice of words in you description. I wouldn't be so specific either as to activities and perhaps change it to indicate the names or general themes of roleplay you do like.  You can always discuss more specific activities OCC when talking to another role player who understands them in the context of the specific non sexual roleplay or pass out a notecard to people with whom you engage in RP.

Since a profile is meant to be something that any of the public can read to find out more about you, it should be written with that in mind, otherwise you can expect to have to constantly deal with controversy when using these types of things in a profile.

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Amethyst, the idea of listing themes instead of specific activities in my profile is certainly worth trying. Thanks for suggesting it.

I try to anticipate how other people will react to my profile. Unfortunately, I often fail at it.

[volunteervic]

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Perrie Juran wrote:

You know, the only reason i haven't filed a JIRA yet is I have an equally strong aversion to censoring anyone's chosen lifestyle in SL, no matter how strongly I may feel about it.  There are people who object to all kinds of things in Second Life regardless of whether they are benign or malevolent.  There are clubs that don't allow Furries.  I've had girls refuse to dance with my Martian Avatar. I would not get intimate with a girl who has "rape me please" as one of her groups.  Many things of this sort. 

If you were just talking about RP as a child slave, I could accept this.  Your clan gets captured by another clan and now you are forced to scrub floors all day long.  I'd have no trouble with this.  But when you talk about your Avatar, " bleeding and bound on the floor" we have now crossed a line.

And while maybe this is just some goofy acting to you, but then as you said, it may not be, how would you feel if you knew that the person behind the Avatar that left you bound and bleeding ejaculated in their pants while they did that to you?

Either your naivety or your hypocrisy is showing here or the one other possibility, that you are finding catharsis for things you dealt with as a child, which would be the only acceptable reason to me.

eta to correct wrong word choice.  replaced 'except' with 'accept.'

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If I knew the person I was roleplaying with was sexually aroused by having their character do things to my child character, I would be very bothered. I would stop roleplaying with that person.

In the absence of evidence to the contrary, I usually take my chances and assume that a person's RL reaction to my inworld actions is within what statistics tell me is likely. Since pedophilia is statistically uncommon, I don't refrain from RPing an abused child character just because there is a slender chance the other RPer is a pedophile.

[Faye Feldragonne Member]

I don't like to be confused late at night. But this confused me. This person's profile is insane... For a child avi?? What was the purpose of the post to begin with? Again, I hate to be confused.

[MoiselleErin Teardrop Member]

So some woman asked you if you were horny, and you had a child avatar? A little boy?

FFS, now the cougars out there are infesting SL as well.

[Syo Emerald Recognized Member]

How naive you are. There is a reason why most people see the abuse of a child as a cross of borders that should not be crossed. People who feel fine with that and seek such roleplay seem to have somekind of serious problem.

1.) Movies dealing with child abuse in any form don't have the intention to entertain because of the abuse itself. There is mostly a lot story around and there are other things in focus instead of the abuse itself, which isn't shown in an explicit way. You talking about child actors being forced to take part in those movies is dumb....do you really think they play the abuse exactly as it would be in the real world? Every movie that is different form that is mostly illegal stuff......I worry about what you watched in the past to get such a weird point of view.

2.) Like others already said, rape in roleplay is not everyones taste. I don't like it too and would never take part in such rp. But for me there is a difference between childavatars and normal avatars. A fantasy between adults is one thing, but pulling children into such fantasies is more than just weird.

So, do you think there is a healthy minded normal person behind the avatar torturing your childavi?

[Freya Mokusei]

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Perrie Juran wrote:

You know, the only reason i haven't filed a JIRA yet....

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The JIRA is for technical/platform issues with SL, not lifestyle/residents/cultural problems. Your best recourse in case of problems with a resident is to AR.

Editted for wording. =]

[Dana Hickman Member]

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volunteervic wrote

Also, I don't regard BDSM as synonymous with sexplay. I know many people who play BDSM games choose to add a sexual component alongside their BDSM but it strikes me as irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person is into BDSM. It strikes me as even more irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person enjoys activities that are sometimes also enjoyed by BDSM players.

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Welcome to the world of SL stereotyping... where people who can't think outside their own limited exposure find "ZOMG" offense to non-offensive things, and is purely due to uninformed assumptions and imagined connections they fabricate within their own heads. As far as I'm concerned, the people who stereotype others like this watch far too many soap operas and 'reality' TV shows, and in turn see drama and confict at every corner, even when none actually exist. Absolutely you're going to cross peoples delicate sensabilities with a scenario like this, but the fact remains that if there's no sex in your play then THEY.. repeat.. THEY need to get over being butthurt about it, not you. I commend you on being honest and forthcoming about the issue, and having the maturity to talk about it without the whole "pointing of fingers" that is on display elsewhere in this thread. I say fix the misleading things in your profile, and after that it's not your issue.