Lifestyles and Relationships

[danicah]

I am asking this question for a friend...

Some couples like to sit on the couch on a cuddle pose, and just talk about anything. Sometimes about their RL too...

And theres other couples where the guy asks to cuddle, and the girl is kinda "stalling" and then they never get to cuddle much.

Just an example: The girl is on her RP account, spends time there until late at night... and then her partner on her alt wants to spend a little time just cuddling before bed time... but she keeps stalling and then ends up being too tired. So they dont get to cuddle much.

Why is that? Why do some people not like to cuddle?

Or do they confuse cuddling with sex? Or are they allergic to cuddles?

I think theres nothing wrong with cuddling... or is it?

[Randall Ahren Advisor]

Real men don't cuddle.

[Cerise Sorbet]

She may simply have decided that the other person is not cuddly.

More likely, she has already encountered any of the numerous people who say "just cuddle", then turn around and try to force it into a sexual thing. It pushes people to be more circumspect around people they don't already know well.

[Raven1 Short Member]

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Randall Ahren wrote:

Real men don't cuddle.

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Yes they do.

[SinfulPrince]

Could be I'm very wrong but isn't what you described the passive-aggressive way of saying "I don't want to be with you"?

Maybe I'm just wierd but I wouldn't want to date a girl who never wanted to be in touching range of me.

[Drake1 Nightfire Member]

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danicah wrote:

I am asking this question for a friend...

Some couples like to sit on the couch on a cuddle pose, and just talk about anything. Sometimes about their RL too...

And theres other couples where the guy asks to cuddle, and the girl is kinda "stalling" and then they never get to cuddle much.

Just an example: The girl is on her RP account, spends time there until late at night... and then her partner on her alt wants to spend a little time just cuddling before bed time... but she keeps stalling and then ends up being too tired. So they dont get to cuddle much.

Why is that? Why do some people not like to cuddle?

Or do they confuse cuddling with sex? Or are they allergic to cuddles?

I think theres nothing wrong with cuddling... or is it?

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Lets see... She is RPing on one account and her partner from an alt is IMing her to come cuddle before he has to go to bed?

1. Why does he know about her RP account?

2. If she is in RP mode why is he bugging her?

3. Does he turn every cuddle into a long drawn out sexual encounter, or try to? I know if I spent a while RPing I would be tired of typing and not want to spend the next hour or two typing out an "encounter".

4. Why can't he ask for himself? Are you his PR manager?

I have never had a "partner/playmate" stall about cuddling and chatting.  Perhaps he needs to back off a bit, it sounds like he is smothering her.

[Efurou]

I understand the girl who did not want to cuddle.

Cuddling in sl is boring. When my avatar sits in a static pose like that - without any emoting (role playing) going on  that describes things that happen - I get bored at staring at the pixel people. I usually begin to cam around, look at all kinds of stuff in the enviroment - while I might chat with the person at the same time.

If the person who did not want to cuddle was in role play - why did her partner not chat with her in IMs. There is plenty of time to chat when one waits for the next emote. I do that all the time....no need to have my avatar parked on a couch in a cuddling pose. Multitasking ftw!

For me it is safer not to cuddle too much, actually. This one time - I was talked into just sitting in pose and "cuddling." Of course I got bored and restless after about 5 minutes. I started clicking on everything in cam range - next thing you know, I had deleted half the house! True story.

[Trinity Yazimoto Advisor]

I dont want to be cuddled and i dont want to cuddle aswell... Im not in SL for this although i understand people like it and look for it.

I dont want to be the girlfriend of anyone, i like RL relationship, i dont see any interest in having a relationship with someone i cant touch in RL. This is not my trick. Although i understand pp like it and want it. 

Im ok for friendship. I have great ones in SL that i consider same than my RL friends. I have no need to touch friends. But i dont see things same for love relationships.

But one thing, id like to be explained is why people cant understand we dont have all the same purpose and use for sl ? i understand and respect the other pp purposes even if i dont share same but i dont stop being asked for cuddle, or being gf often despite the fact its writen in my first page profile that im not in sl for this. Respect and understanding are going in both way.... i respect others pp likes and purposes, id just like pp respect mines.

And i dont feel like im a weird bec i have no interest for cudling in SL ....

[Syo Emerald Advisor]

Roleplay is a group activity and, if good, creates a thick atmosphere you don't want to leave. Normaly you can't just leave within a second, just because someone says "need you right know because I want it so". His girlfriend is busy and he doesn't seem to know that or would he ask her the same, if she would be working in SL?

Also it seems she simply doesn't like cuddling as much as he does. I understand that, because I often feel the same. Cuddling bores be easily.

[Perrie Juran Member]

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Randall Ahren wrote:

Real men don't cuddle.

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are you saying you're not real or you're not a man?

even Martians like to cuddle