General Discussions

[Caitlin Tobias Advisor]

For me...nobody...

Two friends know, but I have met them in SL first, and later in RL, so that does not count?

My colleagues know I do 'something game- ish' online, but have no clue what. I could be WoW for all they care.
My family, oh well, most of them have no clue what I do for a living, let alone what I do after work!

I do not feel the need to share my SL with RL people, as I consider my SL really mine, mine, mine!
No, I don't do secret stuff or things I should be ashamed of, but I like to keep it mine .

[Marigold Devin]

Alazarin Mondrian wrote:
. I  can't understand why people flock in their millions to something as  boring as FaceBook when there's Second Life.  

Because they lack imagination probably.

[Cellar Admiral]

One of my RL friends actually uses secondlife aswell, so it's good that I have someone outside of the virtual realm to speak to about the going ons inworld lol. I've tried to introduce and explain secondlife to my family but they just role their eyes and nod their head as if they are listening... which I totally know they aren't.

I'm not ashamed of having an avatar, I'm pretty proud because I do have confidence issues and SL has helped me overcome that majorly; that is why I'm proud to have Cellar

PS Great thread! Love it

[Brendan Macarthur]

I found out about SL in Dec of 2008.  I lost my real life partner earlier in 2008, and I wasn't up to going out or trying the whole social/ dating scene again.  I quickly found it to be more than just "a game".  At least for me, it has helped me to heal and i have made many new friensds as well.  I speak with many of them either on the phone or on Skype.   Everyone in my family and my co-workers are all aware that I am a resident in SL.   Sxome look at me like I am crazy....but i try to get them to understand it's not just a "online game".  But you are interacting with other real people...with real feelings and real issues.

I also have recently discovered that a few of my real life, were already on SL.  So the answer to all the questions for me is YES !

[Kylie Jaxxon Advisor]

Marigold Devin wrote:
WOW, Immy, I did enjoy reading your post. And what a great thread to have started. I often get the impression (mainly from conversations I've had with people inworld) that a lot of the time Second Life is kept very separate from real life; although, these people have tended to be the ones who have partners in real life and they like to come into Second Life for flirty fun with strangers!
My brother knows about my Second Life; its his computer. He's disabled and poor sod has got me as his full-time carer, so Second Life is where I spend a fair bit of time between doing what I need to do for him, while still being on call and far enough away from him not to get on his nerves like siblings often do.I love my brother 
I agree with Theia about it being weird to bring in someone from outside who you've known for years. I did the same thing a couple of years ago, when an old schoolfriend got in touch with me via friendsreunited. He made an avatar, stayed inworld for less than a day, declared it to be a load of crap, and went back to being my old-schoolfriend-who-I-never-make-contact-with!
A friend I've known for around 10 years also made an avatar the month after I started in Second Life. She thought it would be cool to hang around together because we used to meet up at least once a week when we lived in the same town, and after I moved away from the area, we were resigned to being penpals and email buddies only.  Sadly her PC couldn't take the strain, and she hasn't been able to log in. She sees my Second Life as an extension of my real life, and never thinks of the people in SL as being just cartoon gamers.
Another friend has absolutely no time or interest in computer "games", and has this habit of placing the phone receiver down and filling the kettle if she hears the words "Second Life" being mentioned. She would rather drone on about her interesting life, which seems to consist of broken washing lines, inefficient repair men, how awful that it always rains, how the volcano in Iceland only erupted because she was due to fly, etc, etc. If I had to choose between this particular friend and Second Life, it would not be a hard choice to make!
My sister also knows about my Second Life. She is 16 years older than me - my half sister really - and thinks I am tremendously cool and clever because I can even use a computer. I love my sister 
My friend Pamela laughs at the occasional photos that I send to her, and says "typical Mari - as crazy and as campaigning as ever!". I just don't know what she means !!
My elderly neighbour - Leslie - knows about my Second Life, well a little bit of it. He always asks if I have a boyfriend, and when I told him I'd married my German fella in Second Life, he was not too pleased, because he says "I was blasted at by the Germans during the war" !!!! ooo-err. But Leslie is pretty savvy, gets the impression that LL are actually carrying out some studies on behalf of a major drugs company and predicts that a lot of people will be in straitjackets after getting too involved with Second Life. (I hope he doesn't mean me !)
I am neither ashamed nor proud to be part of the Second Life community. I am, however, really glad that I've been able to enjoy it so much, and on the whole its been a positive experience, but I wouldn't want to be a newbie again and have to learn from scratch.
Immy, I hope Second Life does help you with your demons/anxieties. Sometimes I think it feeds mine, sometimes it pacifies them. Its knowing where to find that balance I guess.

Mari, loved your story   Does you brother come into SL?

[Alazarin Mondrian Member]

Who knows about your avatar?

Most of my RL friends, family, etc. For years I've been trying to  get some of my RL musician friends /acquaintances interested in SL but  they just don't want to know.

Are you 'proud' to  have a  Second Life avatar?

Hmmm.... I wouldn't exactly say 'proud' but I see my avatar as a  part and extension of myself in a snowcrash/metaverse sense. As  essential a part of 21st century life as an email address and mobile  phone.

Are you proud enough to  tell your friends?

I've  invited them to my shows in SL. A few have turned up. Once or twice.  And never shown any interest whatsoever in SL.

Are you proud enough to tell  your family? 

I've invited them to my shows in SL. They've never turned up.

If you do tell, how do they react?

In general most people who I tell about my involvement in SL and my attempts to interest them in it aren't interested and I get the distinct impression that they think there's something wrong with me.  Then again they're just coming to terms with the FaceBook level of the  internet ... something that I completely bypassed when I dived into SL. I can't understand why people flock in their millions to something as boring as FaceBook when there's Second Life. I suppose they'll sit up  and take notice when Microsoft & Apple incorporate 3D 'home spaces'  into their O/S desktops.

[Kerryth Tarantal]

What a great topic! Thank you for starting it, Immy, and for sharing your story.

Everyone who is close to me knows about my SL, and they either don't care or think it's kind of cool that I have this creative outlet and the good friends I've met. Most of them had never heard of SL before I told them what I was doing, so they had no negative preconceptions. I'm not involved in any in-world activity that would raise an eyebrow, anyhow. They do "get it" and if any of them think there is something wrong with it they keep it to themselves. I have never persuaded any of them to try it.  I think my husband would rather I didn't spend so much of my spare time inworld, but he doesn't complain. He's playing gamies on his computer or watching sports on TV when I'm in SL, anyway, and SL is less messy and expensive than some of my other hobbies.

Outside of the category of family and friends who already know me well, nobody knows I participate in SL. I wouldn't care if they did, but it's nobody's business. I have no need to mention it.

[Ceera Murakami Contributor]

Let's see:

My mate and my child both know about what I do in SL. They know a lot about what Ceera does as a builder and content creator, and about what Fox and Ground Construction Company is, and the stuff I have built. My mate even deals with some of the phone calls that we get from people who incorrectly assume that my registered company is a real-world home builder or landscaping contractor. (Gotta love these people who find a company name in a DBA registration database, and don't bother to look at the company website before contacting the company with a solicitation.) My mate and kid have seen most, if not all of my alts. My mate knows about the pixel-sex side of SL, and knows that I don't do it often, and that when I do, I firmly remain monogamous in RL, so the little bit of 'relationship' role play that I do is not a threat to our relationship, since all involved know it never leaves the screen, and is only fiction between the avatars. My child is 14, and knows that "Adult stuff happens in SL", but since she's a minor, she doesn't get the details or get to see that going on. My family is quite happy that my on-line fun time can also bring in some extra income to pay for luxuries for us once in a while.

My parents and my sister know I build stuff in SL, and my sister's seen images of the stuff I built for Rutgers, and has briefly been in-world on her own to look at some of my builds. Never met my sister in-world though, and don't particularly plan to. She only went into SL briefly as research she was doing for a college art class paper.

Most of my real-life friends know, and one of those is active in SL and has actually met me in-world. His avatars and mine don't often run into each other though, except when he needs building help from me. A few other RL friends are former SL residents, who gave up in SL long ago. They are amused sometimes by my tales of LL's latest Faux Pas.

I've mentioned the building and creative aspects to my boss and several of my co-workers, and have shown them images of some sims I have built. They thought that creative stuff was cool.

I even touched base briefly with a team of people from the company I work for (though not my own division) who have been developing some company-owned sims in SL. But my working with them didn't pan out, since company rules prohibit them hiring Ceera directly at my normal rates. They would have to pay my normal hourly wage and benefits through the payroll department while I worked on their projects, reimbursing my department for hours not spent on my normal duties. That won't happen, because they can't afford to pay what I normally get for my day job efforts!

[Latisha Pexie Member]

Great OP

Who knows about your avatar?  (^_^)

My family knows. Sort of. They know that I play and a few of the things I do on here, but for the most part, as one poster put it, SL is mine. I don't mind that they know of SL, but for me, SL is a place where I can really let go and just be me.

My freinds do not know, but then, they really don't know anything about me anymore. I'm became a bit estranged from my friends after I came out a couple years ago. I do have one non-SL friends that knows. But, again, in passing. Not really something I discuss at length with anyone.

My coworkers no nothing about SL or any other aspect of my personal life. I do not talk about my family, my friends, or my past times with any of them. Everyone that mentions anything about thier personal life where I work has gossip passed around and everything that is told is twisted. I have no doubt that my lack of giving out details is the cause of gossip also, but I would rather have that than have every detail of my life out for everyone to hear in some twisted version of it.

Are you 'proud' to have a Second Life avatar?  (^_^)

I am niether proud nor ashamed to have an avatar. It just is. It is one of my chosen past times. I am no more proud or ashamed than I am to admit that I can (sort of) knit.

Are you proud enough to tell your friends?  (^_^)

Are you proud enough to tell your family?  (^_^)

Much of what these questions are asking was answered above, though I would like to add that I have wonderful friends in SL that are equally as deserving of being talked about as any in RL. They are my friends. It just so happens that we meet in a virtual world.

If you do tell, how do they react?  (^_^)

Most, I just get an "Oh..." from. Most, I think, just don't get it. SL isn't for everyone, and I don't think you can really know if it is for you until you try it for yourself. Some have heard rumors about it, so that tends to shape thier opinion. My mom goes in phases. Sometimes she laughs at the stories I tell about the antics of my SL friends. Other times she's convinced it's taking over my life. Those that are critical of it are generally those that tend to think they know how to better run my life than I do.

Do you think their reaction is because something is wrong with having a SL avatar or that they're daft and closed minded about your game life? (^_^)

Well, I guess I sort of already answered this. SL has a reputation, of sorts. Some have heard that, and this impression shapes their opinions. Others think they could run my life better than me... They don't see any good in running around on a computer with all my free time. I say you have your past times, I have mine.

For me, SL is an outlet, an escape. I live in a VERY close-minded state and I can get to feeling very isolated. SL gives me a connection to the world that I do not have at the moment. Someday I will move to a place where me and my lifestyle is more accepted, but for now, SL is my escape. And I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of.

*Disclaimer* The spell check button is refusing to work for me... so you will have to put up with my horrible spelling.

[Marigold Devin]

Thanks Kylie. I think Immy started a great thread. Its interesting and reassuring to read about how others' friends in real life react to them being Second Life residents.

My brother doesn't log in at all; the last time was when I wanted to borrow his avatar, and he sat with me while I set up this photo shoot.