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Recognized Resident
Anastasia Sharpesworth
Posts: 8

Second Life Relationships?

So my question is when does a second life fancy go from fun and flirty to real life relationship? There are people in sl who have been married for years and never had any kind of contact in rl and there are others who simply use sl as a rl dating site. How do you know when someone has crossed from sl "boy/girlfriend/wife/husband" to real life love or relationship? ls this even healthy? Also another part of this is the question how much does who you are in rl matter? l mean in sl i'm a stripper and a slave and etc. etc. but that's not at ALL who i am in rl. Does it even matter?

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Unklebob Hotaling
Posts: 7,287

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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How do you know when someone has crossed from sl  "boy/girlfriend/wife/husband" to real life love or relationship?

Who knows the answer to that better than yourself.  You and that person are what determines where things are going to go.

ls this  even healthy?

If you meet a soulmate, does it matter if it was on a chatline, at the grocery store of on secondlife?  I know of several couples who through sl relationships are now contentedly happy togather irl... I also know of several rl relationships that were entirely messed-up by sl...  it is a double-edged sword, use common sense.

Also another part of this is the question how much does  who you are in rl matter? l mean in sl i'm a stripper and a slave and  etc. etc. but that's not at ALL who i am in rl. Does it even matter?

I'd say it matters.  Of course your rl matters if you're going to meet someone irl... to some extent.

Best of luck, relationships in both worlds are full of landmines  

+ General Manager, Sinful Needs rockclub +
Honored Resident
tristan Eliot
Posts: 278

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Anastasia Sharpesworth wrote:

So my question is when does a second life fancy go from fun and flirty to real life relationship?

My guess is when they are actually seeing one another in RL.

Anastasia Sharpesworth wrote:

Also another part of this is the question how much does who you are in rl matter? l mean in sl i'm a stripper and a slave and etc. etc. but that's not at ALL who i am in rl. Does it even matter?

I think it matters a lot.  I would care if they had a bad temper which made them abusive in some way, were habitual liars, had 10 kids they did not help support,  never pay their bills, or already involved in a serious relationship with another.  I'm crazy like that, but yeah it does matter.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." ~ Albert Einstein
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Daria Afterthought
Posts: 5,251

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Tristan Eliot wrote:

I think it matters a lot.  I would care if they had a bad temper which made them abusive in some way, were habitual liars, had 10 kids they did not help support,  never pay their bills, or already involved in a serious relationship with another.  I'm crazy like that, but yeah it does matter.

Your chance of finding RL love in SL just went from 90% to .000000001%

http://dariasafterthoughts.blogspot.com
So liek I got banned. Bummer.
Honored Resident
tristan Eliot
Posts: 278

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Daria Afterthought wrote:

Tristan Eliot wrote:

I think it matters a lot.  I would care if they had a bad temper which made them abusive in some way, were habitual liars, had 10 kids they did not help support,  never pay their bills, or already involved in a serious relationship with another.  I'm crazy like that, but yeah it does matter.

Your chance of finding RL love in SL just went from 90% to .000000001%

I'll learn to cope... somehow.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." ~ Albert Einstein
Larryk Dagger
Posts: 294
Topics: 0
Solutions: 2
Registered: ‎12-07-2009

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Actually, I was introduced to SL almost 3 years ago by the woman I am now partnered with and married to SL and we are also a RL couple planning on getting married next year, though we have yet to set a date. I met her in another virtual world that shall go unnamed here and we were wed in that world also, then she showed me SL.

Yes, we have had some rough times and even seperated twice, but we have loved each other for almost 3 years now and have gotten back together oce more, this time for life.

As for who we are in RL, we both know much about each other, and learning more as time goes on. To be honest, you never stop learning about the one you love, for no one remains the same throughout their life, we are all constantly changing. For instance, while we were seperated the last time, I became a Master for some time in SL, even talked about going RL with one of my girls (yes, I had more than one girl in my service at a time). But now that I am back with my beloved, I gave that up as she is not into D/s and she is the one I truly love and want to be with.

Though my avatar looks like a golden tiger Neko, his background is that he is a Demon/Vampire/Neko hybrid, but his personality is mine. I did not create a secondary personality for my avatar..I have enough problems without adding a second personality to them! lol

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Belenos Stardust
Posts: 7

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Not sure what percentage of the population I am in but I have generally IMPORTED my relationships into SL. hahaha...

To those uncertain what that means, If I have a real life love interest, I invite her to play SL with me. It's as much a part of me now, so if she can deal with it and be a great sport about it, I know there's hope for the relationship. I have never been in a "true SL relationship". I have met some great friends out of this, but then I have a large group  of online friends I have met in the many games I have played over the years. I did not come into SL for a dating service... I've already done the Yahoo Personals thing, and ridden that horse for what it was worth. (Oddly enough, I still have some great friends that used to be girlfriends)

For me one important part of importing people into sl is contact. My current girlfriend lives in Alabama. I live in PA. We only get a few scant weeks to see each other due to the price of airfare and what not. For us SL is a great way to keep in touch by proxy. When I hug her she knows it's just as real as if we were in the same room, and in essence absence makes the heart grow fonder. This Wednesday I plan to go see her in rl, so you can bet my SL time will be scarce.

As for anyone else in sl who might be interested in dating me..... no. I am not interested that way.  I can always use more friends, but I know where my loyalty lies. Besides... to me, sex in sl is boring.

Honored Resident
Kwant Capalini
Posts: 2,042

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Surely any interaction you have with somebody whether it be rl or sl or interwebs whatever, is a real relationship. Either one or more parties,depending how swinging you are, can treat that relationship in any number of different ways it makes no difference where it is, it is the people involved who make it what it is. Historically romances were often conducted across the globe with folks who had never met, or if they had albeit briefly, to spark the interest in each other. Thereafter it was a matter, of each, and their desire to continue that relationship by which ever means they had available to them.

The seriousness of any relationship is how much each of the people involved cares about the feelings of the others, or not as the case may be.

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Jewel Zuzu
Posts: 30

Re: Second Life Relationships?

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Some people just want companionship online to fill in their needs that isn't there for them in RL.My personal view is to tread carefully and consider the other persons feelings and situation. Being open and honest and outling your intentions is the least you can do if your not intending to persue a RL committment .

As to when do you know if it's real? I personally don't think you do until you meet in RL , then it's healthy and the true romance and love begins. I'm always upfront and declare that my Avi represents the real me (shock horror for many) and explain my intentions for being online..In the end its staying true to yourself that matters *Smiles*

I'm not crazy , just misunderstood !