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Czari Zenovka
Posts: 4,505

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to Syo Emerald - view message


Syo Emerald wrote:

Addiction is, outside of the area of substanceabuse, a word used for things the mainstream in society doesn't understand or values as normal or positiv. Nobody would worry about someone spending all his free time with books. Nobdoy would worry about someone spending all his time with painting pictures. Nobdoy would worry about someone spending all his weekends sailing.

But spending time in virtual environments is always seen as bad, antsocial, strange, dangerous, silly, dumb.....(the list is endless). Most of this labels come from people without the smallest idea what they are talking about.

Some "addictions" are welcome and others are not.


I agree with you except to add the caveat that by definition an addiction is something that negatively impacts one's normal life and/or family in some manner.  If someone is spending a lot of time in SL but not neglecting their family nor it interfering with work or other responsibilities, that wouldn't be an addiction - just someone who spends a lot of time in SL.

Someone who stays online non-stop for hours and hours to the point where it is affecting one's relationships, family, work, getting proper rest, etc. would be an addiction.

Books and painting *could* become addictive for someone but, imo, don't have the "payoff" that an addiction habit does whether it be socializing in an online venue, getting a buzz from drinking, etc.

I do agree that family/friends who don't share our interest in computers and/or online activities will use the word "addicted" to just mean *they* think we spend too much time online.

"I'm not building a game, I'm building a new country."
~Philip Linden (Second Life: The Official Guide, p. 274)

Syo Emerald
Posts: 2,787
Topics: 23
Registered: ‎05-30-2011

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

[ Edited ]

Reply to Czari Zenovka - view message

I think addiction should be defined by every person on a very subjectiv level. From my view no family member can absolutly say what is just a timeconsuming passionated hobby and whats an addiction. Only the person who is susbected to be addicted can answer that, because its them who may feel bad because of actions he/she can't controll any longer.

And thats another important point. Having controll over things. Many questions in drugsurveys contain this element. They help to draw the line between someone just loving to spend the whole evening online and someone who would want to go to his best friends birthday party, but can't do that because he/she can't control their overtaking addiction.

Books and painting where just examples for activities which can consume a lot time, but are valued as good behavior from most people. I think their "payoff" is not very different from the ones typical addictiv things have. A feeling of happyness, joy and what not...Its a matter of perspective.

 

You also get the best therapy results with those patients who know by themselves that they have a problem and feel that they suffer from their behavior.

On the internet nobody knows you are a dog.
Member
Czari Zenovka
Posts: 4,505

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to Syo Emerald - view message


Syo Emerald wrote:

I think addiction should be defined by every person on a very subjectiv level. From my view no family member can absolutly say what is just a timeconsuming passionated hobby and whats an addiction. Only the person who is susbected to be addicted can answer that, because its them who may feel bad because of actions he/she can't controll any longer.




When I speak of addiction, I'm basing it on the DSM definition.  Any disorder has to fit x criterion out of x symptoms to be diagnosed as a particular disorder/illness.  Since for most mental illnesses and all personality disorders there are no physical tests, such as a blood test or x-ray, the subjectivity would be a combination of how truthfully the client answers diagnostic questions and the interpretation of them by the mental health professional.  However....


Syo Emerald wrote:

You also get the best therapy results with those patients who know by themselves that they have a problem and feel that they suffer from their behavior.


...this would definitely produce better therapy results as the person is motivated to change but, from personal experience, many times someone who has a serious addiction issue will either not admit it or doesn't recognize it and often family members don't realize it either due to co-dependency issues or lack of knowledge. 

Again, I'm speaking from a mental health perspective on addictions in general.  I agree that not everything one person calls an addiction truly is.  Based on the OP's story I would tend toward that situation falling into the addiction range.

"I'm not building a game, I'm building a new country."
~Philip Linden (Second Life: The Official Guide, p. 274)

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Posts: 2,853

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to Pamela Galli - view message

can understand what you mean by this

if SL is a RL job (like making stuff to pay your RL bills) then is not really an addiction. is just a job

+

i think it becomes an addiction when there is no purpose other than rewarding our own pleasure and we keep doing it only for that reason. for hours and hours. and want that more than the pleasure we can get in other environments like in RL or even other onlines family friends and activities. like just going to the park or beach and playing. or the movies or clubbing even

+

i am always encourage families with young people to kick them outside when is sunny. they can play on the interwebz in the evening when is dark outside if they want. but not in the morning/afternoon on the weekend on a sunny day

 

Melita Magic
Posts: 4,465
Registered: ‎05-28-2009

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to AnnaIvanovna - view message

Czari was in the field as a professional I believe what she has to say.  :smileyhappy:

Addiction = less return than gain; compromises real life and responsibilities; becomes joyless but compulsion continues.

To me that is what addiction is, but it really is a disorder or disease with a solid definition. I suppose it could be loosely applied in a subjective way but that would also tend to be inaccurate.

"The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one."
"The best way to simplify life is to set your priorities straight."
- Nishan Panwar
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archeocortex
Posts: 1

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to AnnaIvanovna - view message

First, excuse me for my poor english talk and knowledge, I really don t speak  english well.

SL is full of rl need.... it's a land of lost rl dreams. Because sometime things have no way to be in rl, because you don t think there is a way to be. SL is a free social area, but it means something else: You have to pay much for this freedom: all what can implicate you and work on you in rl as a natural relationship, people calling, meeting, aren t there in sl. You can find chat, you can find talk, but it will never go somewhere real (or it's much rare). 

Being sad, feeling alone, is not a bad way. Because sometime, when you feel alone, far from others, you create the need to go to them in rl and some special way for this. Using sl in this way will create a false way to do, thinking the need over, but its in same time making it bigger and you more lonely rl. Time spend in sl for this, is at final a time lost rl in this. When you ll see yourself behind, seeing all meet you had in sl, all sl talk,and that now nothihg really stay, specially when the computer is close, all was like an illusion. No one will call rl. It's just something to see well when using sl.

I remember a movie, Kairo. In it, there was a programm created by student making some atoms going to each other atoms like a need, but disapearing when meet each other, it'sa nice symbolic of modern communication

but.... there is a way to make it becoming something nice rl, a way to go inside your need in sl, and resolve some rl conflict in this. Find the solution of yourself if you need it. But it's important to know this timelost notion. There are some way for the lost dreams to become new, to change and evoluate in sl, changing yourself in something better rl too. Because sometime rl don t give much, become so poor for people.

SL time is suspend, nothing in it getting older, sick, dying... only you in rl this time. That's life.

Sl have a nice part of creativity, work, shops....but i feel it still like a virtual way. Becoming rich in sl is always something at final virtual too. I have begun on blender and wings, Qavimator and others things. But in the need to continue i haven t stayed only in sl, using more sophisticate programm to make my own virtual world :smileyhappy:

Yep we are all crazy the same :smileywink:

So the most important thing: take care about what you are ready to give to sl. That s all.

I wish to all some beautiful dreams and some beautiful times rl and sl for this new year  :smileyhappy:

Melita Magic
Posts: 4,465
Registered: ‎05-28-2009

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to archeocortex - view message

That was beautifully said, archeocortex.

Happy New Year to you as well!

"The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one."
"The best way to simplify life is to set your priorities straight."
- Nishan Panwar
Posts: 462
Registered: ‎01-09-2011

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

Reply to AnnaIvanovna - view message

Oh gyod yes. I remember first getting into SL. All this 3D graphic scenery, creating my own avatar (digital barbie doll in a sense). It wasn't just like getting hooked on a new game, it did something to my emotions that I cannot explain except -  It was like being a kid and meeting what I thought was "the love of my life". Yes, I loved SL on every level. I was hooked BADLY. Cost me my job too cause my attendance went to the crapper.

SL can and will take over your REAL life if you let it. There is good news though.

You eventually get to a point where you have no desire to be in SL. You can do only so much, you can be addicted for only so long, you can dump only so much time and money into it before you realize it becomes a waste after a point. You log into SL day after day and do the same crap, see the same people, etc.

You start noticing more and more that there is just more crap in SL that slows you down. When it gets to a point where you are thinking of spending a fortune on a new computer or video card just to keep up, THAT is when you finally say "heck with it". Just trying to play SL became like a job.

I don't regret the time I spent in SL, too much. Though I do sometimes wonder what I COULD have accomplished instead. Anymore, logging into SL is like staring at an empty pizza box. It was good but just nothing left for me.


There are a few well-known web addictions out there that can and do cause problems with marriages, relationships, jobs, legal problems etc. Second Life isn't anywhere near the most popular one. No, Facebook still holds the #1 spot for being a nuisance. But, for most of us - SL is or was OUR problem addiction.


You too will eventually get to a point where you would rather re-organize the cupboards than waste time in SL. That day DOES come.

Miniature Erin says, "Avatars are people too!" She feels very strongly about this so don't call avatars "pixels on a screen" as to not aggravate her. Also, Miniature Erin is THE most precious avatar in SL.
Recognized Resident
Gideon Loring
Posts: 1

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

[ Edited ]

Reply to AnnaIvanovna - view message

"Insanity, doing the same thing over, expecting different results"

I've been round SL off and on for 5 yrs. I came by invite from some friends from Beta testing another online game for 3 years.

I can't honestly say I've ever been addicted to SL, but have lost my enthusiasm I once had to be there. I'm pretty much the same me In SL as I am in RL, except the look of my avatar. Most people don't handle that well. In a place you'd think people would work on being the best person they can be. Most often I find people hiding behind a mask doing unthinkable things emotionally, and otherwise to others, they wouldn't normally do in RL. Because there are no real consequences.

In my opinion, SL is just a glorified chat room. Real people, flaws and all. No matter what mask they hide behind, their true self eventually comes through.

I came to SL because I moved to a rural area, and was looking for people to chat, and hang out with. Besides the fact once here. I loved the idea of building, and creating in my own world. And expressing my graphics talents. The reality is the same in RL. If you don't have something someone wants, or needs. Then most likely they will not give you the time of day. I think a lot of people come into SL because they have no social support in RL. Some because they are just sick and twisted and want to take advantage of others, And Some have legitimate artistic, skills and abilities they us SL to express themselves.

It just so happens I found this Forum trying to find out if anyone else felt as disappointed as I do in the quality of people here in SL. I guess it just depends on your perspective, and what your looking to get out of being here. Once again I'm concluding by saying.

I don't think it is for me.

Ceka Cianci
Posts: 7,098
Registered: ‎09-09-2009

Re: Second Life addiction is a very real problem. This is my story.

[ Edited ]

Reply to AnnaIvanovna - view message

i wish you lots of strength and wisdom to see troubles in the future Anna..and the power to push them aside for the things that make you life better..

enjoy the simple things in life..but don't deny yourself big things you deserve either..

life is one big game and it's a real B!tch to get good at..

so always keep sharp and enjoy it the best you can with everything you've got =)

 

best wishes for an awesome future:smileywink:

 

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds".

"A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing".”*winks*
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