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Respect! How to get it!


Hippie Bowman
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Hi all!  Hippie Bowman here.  I would like to impart to you some way to get respect.  First off.  Respect is not given.  It must be earned.  This applies to real live as well as Second Life.  I have found this to be true in my life.  Here are some ways to earn respect.

 CHOOSE JOY

joy.jpg

   
Joy does not simply happen. We have to choose joy, and keep choosing it every    day.
   
HONOR ONE ANOTHER

honoroneanother1.jpg


To honor is to give preference to another. It is the act of extending to another the first opportunity. Giving preference is more than good manners; it gives preference of another person’s needs over your personal needs.

BE HUMBLE

Be humble.png

Here are come examples of being humble.  To speak as little as possible of one's   self.   Not to want to manage other people's affairs. To accept contradictions and   correction cheerfully. To pass over the mistakes of others. To accept insults and    injuries. To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked. To be kind and gentle even under provocation. Never to stand on one's dignity. To choose always the hardest.

PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS

RW_SmallThings.jpg


Learn to fix your attention on a given subject, at will, for whatever length of time you choose. You will have learned the secret to power and plenty! This is concentration. Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don’t want.

DO NOT INTERRUPT

no-interrupt.jpg

 

Interrupting is the most common and among the most irritating errors people make in conversation. But just because many people do it doesn’t make it less of an    etiquette no-no. It’s hard, but by no means impossible, to overcome such an    ingrained impulse. Like any other bad habit, not interrupting others requires    reworking how we look at the situation (conversation) and re-training ourselves    within it.

PRAISE OTHERS

youre-awesome.jpg

When you praise someone else, not only does that person feel great, but it leads   them to want to experience that same feeling again. Giving praise cements good    working habits and behavior, both chemically and intellectually.

 

DO NOT NAG

Nag.jpg

Find more effective ways to communicate to others, and leave the nagging behind. Clean the living room, wash the dishes, take out the trash ... nag,     nag, nag. The incessant nagging you do not only drives others mad, it drives them    away!

BE THANKFUL
thankful.jpg

No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. "The wise and
confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."  Alfred North Whitehead. 
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that in order to achieve contentment, one should "cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously" .

SMILE

smile-1.jpg

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller
Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course,
1997.

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

 

RESPOND TO GOOD INTENTIONS FROM OTHERS

bad attitude.jpg

Real communication is about exchanging ideas. It's about interacting. Yes, it’s useful to have a plan for how you would like an interaction to go, whether it be with a friend, or customer, or group.  However once the interaction begins - once you begin communicating with them - what matters is how the other person is responding to you and your messages from moment to moment - and, more    importantly, how you use these responses to adapt your style and your message.

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE

be the reason.jpg

Here are some examples of "doing something special for someone"
1.  Do your children’s chores for the day.
2.  Drop a hand-written card in the mail to give someone an encouraging word.
3.  Give your spouse or significant other a gift on your next date night.
4.  Shovel snow for an older couple down the street.
5.  Call a friend going through a difficult period to show your support.

CHERISH BEING TOGETHER

720-together.jpg

Relationships are built one day at a time... They take time, patience, honesty, passion and ability to compromise then grow! So true love, is by sharing bad and good times together.


DO NOT COMPLAIN

Be-thankful.png

“Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.” ― Lou Holtz

“Like crying wolf, if you keep looking for sympathy as a justification for your actions, you will someday be left standing alone when you really need help.”
― Criss Jami


DO NOT CORRECT

do not correct.jpg

Don’t correct jealous, cynical people, they will hate you anyway.

BE CONTENT

content.jpg

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. - Lao Tzu

TAKE ADVICE

advice.jpg

Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

GIVE ADMIRATION

charles-kuralt-family-quotes-the-love-of-family-and-the-admiration-of.jpg

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.  - Margaret Cousins

FORGIVE

forgiveness-2.jpg

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King, Jr.



Take it from me, this tired old hippie.  These practices have helped me through life.  I hope it will help you too!

Peace-Art.jpg


Peace!

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

Hi all!  Hippie Bowman here.  I would like to impart to you some way to get respect.  First off.  Respect is not given.  It must be earned.  This applies to real live as well as Second Life.  I have found this to be true in my life.  Here are some ways to earn respect.

 CHOOSE JOY

joy.jpg

   

Joy does not simply happen. We have to choose joy, and keep choosing it every    day.

   

HONOR ONE ANOTHER

honoroneanother1.jpg

 

To honor is to give preference to another. It is the act of extending to another the first opportunity. Giving preference is more than good manners; it gives preference of another person’s needs over your personal needs.

 

BE HUMBLE

Be humble.png

 

Here are come examples of being humble.  To speak as little as possible of one's   self.   Not to want to manage other people's affairs. To accept contradictions and   correction cheerfully. To pass over the mistakes of others. To accept insults and    injuries. To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked. To be kind and gentle even under provocation. Never to stand on one's dignity. To choose always the hardest.

 

PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS

RW_SmallThings.jpg

 

Learn to fix your attention on a given subject, at will, for whatever length of time you choose. You will have learned the secret to power and plenty! This is concentration. Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don’t want.

 

DO NOT INTERRUPT

no-interrupt.jpg

 

Interrupting is the most common and among the most irritating errors people make in conversation. But just because many people do it doesn’t make it less of an    etiquette no-no. It’s hard, but by no means impossible, to overcome such an    ingrained impulse. Like any other bad habit, not interrupting others requires    reworking how we look at the situation (conversation) and re-training ourselves    within it.

 

PRAISE OTHERS

youre-awesome.jpg

 

When you praise someone else, not only does that person feel great, but it leads   them to want to experience that same feeling again. Giving praise cements good    working habits and behavior, both chemically and intellectually.

 

DO NOT NAG

Nag.jpg

Find more effective ways to communicate to others, and leave the nagging behind. Clean the living room, wash the dishes, take out the trash ... nag,     nag, nag. The incessant nagging you do not only drives others mad, it drives them    away!

 

BE THANKFUL

thankful.jpg

No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. "The wise and

confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."  Alfred North Whitehead. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that in order to achieve contentment, one should "cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously" .

 

SMILE

Smile-1.jpg

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course,

1997.

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

 

RESPOND TO GOOD INTENTIONS FROM OTHERS

bad attitude.jpg

 

Real communication is about exchanging ideas. It's about interacting. Yes, it’s useful to have a plan for how you would like an interaction to go, whether it be with a friend, or customer, or group.  However once the interaction begins - once you begin communicating with them - what matters is how the other person is responding to you and your messages from moment to moment - and, more    importantly, how you use these responses to adapt your style and your message.

 

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE

be the reason.jpg

 

Here are some examples of "doing something special for someone"

1.  Do your children’s chores for the day.

2.  Drop a hand-written card in the mail to give someone an encouraging word.

3.  Give your spouse or significant other a gift on your next date night.

4.  Shovel snow for an older couple down the street.

5.  Call a friend going through a difficult period to show your support.

 

CHERISH BEING TOGETHER

720-together.jpg

 

Relationships are built one day at a time... They take time, patience, honesty, passion and ability to compromise then grow! So true love, is by sharing bad and good times together.

 

 

DO NOT COMPLAIN

Be-thankful.png

 

“Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.” ― Lou Holtz

 

“Like crying wolf, if you keep looking for sympathy as a justification for your actions, you will someday be left standing alone when you really need help.”

― Criss Jami

 

 

DO NOT CORRECT

do not correct.jpg

 

Don’t correct jealous, cynical people, they will hate you anyway.

 

BE CONTENT

content.jpg

 

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. - Lao Tzu

 

TAKE ADVICE

advice.jpg

 

Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

 

GIVE ADMIRATION

charles-kuralt-family-quotes-the-love-of-family-and-the-admiration-of.jpg

 

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.  - Margaret Cousins

 

FORGIVE

forgiveness-2.jpg

 

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

 

Take it from me, this tired old hippie.  These practices have helped me through life.  I hope it will help you too!

 

 

Peace-Art.jpg

 

Peace!

A wonderful post, Hippie :)  For me, this could not have come at a better time, I have been wrestling with a few things and this made me smile and think about what I really have here in SL and RL :)

/me hugs the Old Hippie  Big_Animated_Hug.gif

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what you write is pretty good and I agree with the points made in the texts. But it do vex me a little bit (:

the opening premise does: "Respect is not given. Respect must be earned"

I think I understand what it is you are getting at tho. I just like to examine this premise and suggest maybe a different emphasis or way to think about it

as a child I was raised to not live in a way to earn respect. Meaning that respect cannot be given to others. As if it were a tangible thing. Like gold and silver

I cannot live my life in the expectation that respect will be given me (like earned) if I am humble and kind and good to others. The supposition being that the more humble and kind and good I am then the more respect I can expect to gain for myself

the pursuit of respect to gain/earn a benefit for oneself thru humility is a prideful undertaking in itself. Oxymoron. The expectation of respect (reward) for being a nice person can be seen by others to not be very nice. Faux

+

ok

i am Maori person. We approach this in a more broad context. Like you/we have wairua. Other cultures can see wairua as id, soul, spirit, conscience, essence, being, etc. Wairua from our perspective encompass all these various interpretations. It dont matter if you culturally believe or not in gods. Godmore people can call it soul. Godless can call it conscience. Basically wairua is the sum of all things that guide you in decision-making

wairua. wai = water/stream. rua = more than one. Same as in other cultures we have this saying: The water runs deep in this one. Or sometimes it can be: The water runs shallow in this one. A raging torrent. babbling brook. cascading waterfall. shifting sea. a still pond. Rua. more than one way

then there is mana. Mana is the outward reflection/manifestation of your wairua. It show the depth and breadth of your wairua. That which others see in you. Mana reflects your own honour, your own respect, your own humility, your own values, considerations, etc. Their depth and breadth and pace

mana is not something that can be given to another. Is that which others see when they look at or think about you. Nobody can give you mana. So we dont go out trying to earn it. bc it cannot be given

+

Hippie you are a man with much mana. The wairua runs deep and wide and steady in you

you have not earned these words from me. I am not praise you either. I do not say this bc I maybe might be thanked or gain for myself an expression of gratitude. I am not justify these words to you or anyone else. Or seek agreement for them from anyone

i am just tell you what I see. I see a man of mana

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irihapeti wrote:

what you write is pretty good and I agree with the points made in the texts. But it do vex me a little bit (:

the opening premise does:
"Respect is not given. Respect must be earned"

I think I understand what it is you are getting at tho. I just like to examine this premise and suggest maybe a different emphasis or way to think about it

as a child I was raised to not live in a way to earn respect. Meaning that respect cannot be given to others. As if it were a tangible thing. Like gold and silver

I cannot live my life in the expectation that respect will be given me (like earned) if I am humble and kind and good to others. The supposition being that the more humble and kind and good I am then the more respect I can expect to gain for myself

the pursuit of respect to gain/earn a benefit for oneself thru humility is a prideful undertaking in itself. Oxymoron. The expectation of respect (reward) for being a nice person can be seen by others to not be very nice. Faux

+

ok

i am Maori person. We approach this in a more broad context. Like you/we have wairua. Other cultures can see wairua as id, soul, spirit, conscience, essence, being, etc. Wairua from our perspective encompass all these various interpretations. It dont matter if you culturally believe or not in gods. Godmore people can call it soul. Godless can call it conscience. Basically wairua is the sum of all things that guide you in decision-making

wairua. wai = water/stream. rua = more than one. Same as in other cultures we have this saying: The water runs deep in this one. Or sometimes it can be: The water runs shallow in this one. A raging torrent. babbling brook. cascading waterfall. shifting sea. a still pond. Rua. more than one way

then there is mana. Mana is the outward reflection/manifestation of your wairua. It show the depth and breadth of your wairua. That which others see in you. Mana reflects your own honour, your own respect, your own humility, your own values, considerations, etc. Their depth and breadth and pace

mana is not something that can be given to another. Is that which others see when they look at or think about you. Nobody can give you mana. So we dont go out trying to earn it. bc it cannot be given

+

Hippie you are a man with much mana. The wairua runs deep and wide and steady in you

you have not earned these words from me. I am not praise you either. I do not say this bc I maybe might be thanked or gain for myself an expression of gratitude. I am not justify these words to you or anyone else. Or seek agreement for them from anyone

i am just tell you what I see. I see a man of mana

Hi Irihapeti.  I did some reading about Mana, and it's connection to the Maori.  Interesting read here.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mana

Here is an excerpt from Wilipedia.

In New Zealand culture

In Māori usage

In Māori, a tribe that has mana whenua must have demonstrated their authority over a piece of land or territory.

In the Māori culture, there are two essential aspects to a person's mana: mana tangata, authority derived from whakapapa connections, and mana huaanga, defined as "authority derived from having a wealth of resources to gift to others to bind them into reciprocal obligations".[13]

The indigenous word reflects a non-Western view of reality, complicating translation.[14] To quote the New Zealand Ministry of Justice:

Mana and tapu are concepts which have both been attributed single-worded definitions by contemporary writers. As concepts, especially Maori concepts they can not easily be translated into a single English definition. Both mana and tapu take on a whole range of related meanings depending on their association and the context in which they are being used.

In general usage

In contemporary New Zealand English, the word "mana", taken from the Māori, refers to a person or organisation of people of great personal prestige and character.[16] Sir Edmund Hillary is considered to have great mana both because of his accomplishments and of how he gave his life to service. Perceived egotism can diminish mana because New Zealand culture tends to shun personal display (see Tall poppy syndrome). A New Zealander might say, "Sir Ed has a lot of mana" even though he is deceased. Also, a New Zealander might say, "Sir Ed brought a lot of mana to the Sir Edmund Hillary Outdoor Pursuit Centre" (OPC) meaning that it has mana because of its association with a man of great mana. However, if the OPC did something that was not respected by New Zealanders, it could lose mana.

 

After reading about the Maori, I can see your point that respect is not earned.  I am humbled by the meaning of Mana, and by your words.

 

Peace!

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You sure know how to wind Maddy up, Hippie. She's running around the house screaming "Make him stop telling me how to live! The only thing he got right is that I'm awesome!".

I know your heart was in the right place, but a little nod to the nefarious now and then would really make her easier to live with.

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Snugs McMasters wrote:

You sure know how to wind Maddy up, Hippie. She's running around the house screaming "Make him stop telling me how to live! The only thing he got right is that I'm awesome!".

I know your heart was in the right place, but a little nod to the nefarious now and then would really make her easier to live with.

LOL Snugs!  Love it!

 

Peace!

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

First off.  Respect is not given.  It must be earned.

I do understand what you mean, but it doesn't cover all respect. For instance, we freely give/show respect to strangers, and they've done nothing to earn it. Yes, it's a different kind of respect than what you mean, but I just thought I'd mention it ;)

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Respect is, like a lot of english words, a word with multiple meanings.

In one sense of the word respect has to be earned, in the sense where the respect given is an honour. But there is also the sense where respect is simply about treating someone civily, granting them basic human rights. These rights if earned at all are earned simply by being human.

It is not uncommon for people denying human rights to use the argument respect is earned.

It is clear that is not your intent from the rest of the context, but that is one reason why the bold opening may cause confusion.

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Aethelwine wrote:

Respect is, like a lot of english words, a word with multiple meanings.

In one sense of the word respect has to be earned, in the sense where the respect given is an honour. But there is also the sense where respect is simply about treating someone civily, granting them basic human rights. These rights if earned at all are earned simply by being human.

It is not uncommon for people denying human rights to use the argument respect is earned.

It is clear that is not your intent from the rest of the context, but that is one reason why the bold opening may cause confusion.

I dig Aeth!  Thanks for you input!

 

 

Peace!

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Awhile back i was roaming around youtube and came passed this..

Your thread totally reminded me of it..

The first time and any time i ever watch this i cry because of the respect they show..

It may seem silly to some but  it is very strong and very sweet and very respectful of them what they did..

 

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