Ladies do you voice verify with people you meet?

[telling225]

I'm a two month old female on here. i met a guy on here yesterday and we became friends. well today he unfriended me while we were dancing, because he wanted to voice verify with me. i said couldnt do that at the moment because i like to get to know people better first and i wasnt looking for a relationship of any type only friendship. I wanted to know how soon should one voice chat if they decide to on here?

[Lindal Kidd]

That is COMPLETELY up to you.  In fact, if it were me, I'd be insulted if someone insisted that I "voice verify."

People who insist on voice verification suffer from a number of problems of their own.

• Insecurity
• Suspicion
• Failure to understand the basic concept of SL, that people are what they choose to be, and are not bound by what they are in Real Life
• A childish belief that simply hearing someone speak will let you know their "true" gender.  This ignores the existence of voice changers, people (of either gender) with naturally deep or high voices, and people who can convincingly speak as a member of the opposite gender.

Since I tend not to have insecure, suspicious, stupid friends, when someone insists that I "voice verify"...I'm gone.

(These same people will ask you to send them RL pictures of yourself, and will send YOU pictures of their...um, intimate parts.  In a lot of cases, both types of pictures are culled from the web.)

[Rolig Loon]

That's a very personal decision.  There are no rules at all.  We come to SL with different expectations, and those expectations color the way we interact with each other.  If you come hoping to develop an intimate relationship with someone, you should expect that sooner or later the other person will want to communicate in voice.  It's more intimate than typed chat, for one thing, and it does give you each a way of verifying whether you are male or female.  These things are important.  How soon?  It all depends on how fast you want to get serious.  It's like the RL question about how far to go on the first date. If you don't want to move too fast, wait.

Plenty of people don't come here looking for intimate relationships, though.  If you don't, there's no reason why you should ever feel pressured to use voice.  In well over 7 years in SL, I have never used voice to speak once.  I listen to voice very reluctantly, and only when I have no other choice.  I dislike it intensely.  It ruins my feeling of immersion in SL. Since I am not here to find a mate, or even to date, I can easily turn down any requests to use it without appearing like anything more than an odd eccentric.  I have many, many friends in SL -- male and female -- and as far as I know, I have never lost a friend because of it.  I am sorry that you did.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

No, I don't.   I don't mind using voice to have conversations with people in the natural course of things, but wouldn't do it on command just to 'prove' I'm a woman.  It doesn't prove anything really.  Voice morphing can make a man sound like a woman, or someone can get a woman to talk for them to 'verify' themselves.  Frankly I've never had a man that I was interested in on any level ask me to do that and the ones that have asked me aren't people I would be interested in even as a friend.

You don't have to voice verify anything if it makes you uncomfortable, particularly if its just a dance with a potential friend.

[Syo Emerald]

He is not someone who you want to have as a friend if he tries to force you to go on voice with him. This is pretty sexist behavior coming from men who are too insecure with their own self (why else would it bother him what gender you have, does he fear a friendship with a guy could turn him gay or what?).

If your gender was so important to him, he probably just wanted to get laid, instead of building up a stable, serious friendship.

Personally I don't voice with anybody who I just meet. I'm female and I don't see why I have to prove anything to a stranger. They either take me as I am and like me for my personality or they aren't worth my time.

[Madelaine McMasters]

Welcome to Second Life, Telling!

I first came online in 1987, long before the Internet could handle voice. So I had a long history (read habit) of of text chatting with people from all over the world before coming to SL. Because I have ample time to compose my thoughts as I type, I've managed to convince people I'm reasonably intelligent. That's been much more difficult (read impossible) in RL, where I sometimes can't think quickly enough to impress. Two minutes at Ahern with voice enabled will prove to you that I'm not the only person for whom this is true.

I've never had a friend ask me to voice verify, and I never will. I have, in fact, had a friend reveal their RL identity to me, then ask that we never voice chat. He, like me, was afraid that we'd pierce the little veil of imagination, as when your favorite swoonable, smooth, deep voiced radio DJ appears on TV and you see the glasses held together with duct tape.

The fella you met did you a favor by outing his intentions and insecurity before you invested a lot of time in him.

Be thankful!

;-).

[KarenMichelle Lane]

As a voice personality DJ in Second Life working at several well known venues, there is nothing more annoying than to have the luxury to dance with a potential new friend and then have them ask you to voice verify.  I long ago stopped being amazed by the rudeness of this request, not only because I voice in SL each and every day but because it's clear that this person has never listened to one of my sets. The DJ in me is more ruffled by that realization.

If your potential new friend has not taken the time to read your profile, to learn the basics about you, including your stated desire to take a relationship to a real life phoning level [the infamous do you skype request] then you are well served by this question which tells you more about them, I release these people back to the wild and never look back.

Telling, that this person was so rude as to give you a unknown time line to verify your real life sex with him in and then he  unfriended you has saved you a lot of drama. These insecure people always have many other personality and relationship management issues as well. Consider yourself lucky that this person self-corrected this potential disaster.

You simply do what you are comfortable with. Voice chat with someone when ever you want. Never let another call you a liar by proxy until you prove otherwise.

 

[chickateeta]

I prefer to voice chat .. that way at least you know they are the right sex and are age verifid and not a young child